As Jake's "white whale" returns and Amy works on her presentation to the NYPD, they struggle to balance work and childcare. Meanwhile, Captain Holt moves in with Rosa as his separation from Kevin continues.
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Guest Stars: Marc Evan Jackson as Kevin, Neil Campbell as Barry Britches, Eddie Alfano as Eric Marsh, Carter Brooker as 7-year-old Terry, Collin Christopher as Nerdy Man, Allie Jennings as Woman, Michael James Lazar as NYPD Official, Christopher Wolfe as Austin Grant
Writers: Evan Susser, Van Robichaux
Director: Daniella Eisman
Sergeant Jeffords: Listen up, everyone. We had a murder this morning. The vic was found at 8:45 by a dog walker who let herself into his apartment...
Jake: Oh, my God, it's Franzia! This is the work of Johnny Franzia, my white whale. He's finally resurfaced.
Sergeant Jeffords: Not this again.
Jake: Yes, this again. Johnny Franzia has been on a murder spree for the past ten years, and every time he kills someone, he taunts me. Look, there's a deck of cards.
Sergeant Jeffords: You say that whenever there's cards at a crime scene. You know how many people own cards, Jake?
Jake: Then explain this. Johnny Franzia's catchphrase is "deuces are wild." Now look around the apartment. Two chairs, two paintings, two pillows.
Sergeant Jeffords: There are three lamps.
Jake: You think Franzia gives a damn about lamps? You sound so dumb right now. This is why you don't have an arch nemesis, Terry, because you focus on all the wrong details.
Sergeant Jeffords: Maybe I don't have an arch nemesis because I solve all my crimes.
Jake: [silence] That's a pretty [bleep]-up thing to say to me.
Captain Holt: Why did I send Kevin an obscene picture?
Rosa: Relax. It's not a big deal. You were just flirting.
Captain Holt: No, if I were flirting, I would have sent him a scatter plot of educational attainment versus caloric intake in Jacobin France. This is as if I've sent him a bar graph.
Rosa: Are bar graphs bad?
Captain Holt: It reduces robust data sets to a single point. Get your head out of your ass!
Rosa: Oh, I am hungover. How you feeling?
Captain Holt: Not good at all. You were supposed to watch out for me, Diaz.
Rosa: Good news is, the heavy drinking worked. You didn't mention Kevin one time.
Captain Holt: Oh, that is an accomplishment. Unfortunately, it appears that I did think about him at least once last night.
Rosa: What do you mean?
Captain Holt: At 3:30 a.m., I seem to have sent Kevin... A digital phallus portrait.
Rosa: A digital phallus portrait? What is that? [gasps] Oh, no, you sent him a [bleep] pic.
Scully: Sure, I'll watch Mac. Don't worry, I've padded all the sharp edges in here.
Jake: Wow. You already baby-proofed it?
Scully: Ah, it's my nap room. You can take a nap anywhere in here. Every surface is like a bed.
Both: Huh.
Jake: Works for us.
Sergeant Jeffords: Hey, so don't freak out, but apparently there are several other groups presenting reform proposals to One Police Plaza, and only one will get funding.
Amy: Why would that make me freak out?
Sergeant Jeffords: Because you can be a little competitive.
Amy: [scoffs] That's not true. No one is less competitive than me. No one.