Jake: I catharted.
Sergeant Jeffords: You catharted hard.

Sergeant Jeffords: Gina! What the hell? I defended you, and your urgent matter was just practising for some stupid dance show?
Gina: Look, I can't help it if my life is literally a Step Up movie.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, is it? Well then I suggest you think of this moment as the montage where you buckle down and take your job seriously so your boss doesn't kill you.

Sergeant Jeffords: Charles Boyle. He's a grinder. Not the most brilliant detective, but he works harder than anyone else. He's not physically gifted.

Rosa: You brought pineapple?
Sergeant Jeffords: Well, the fanny runs deep. I am prepared for any vacation situation. I've got a bottle opener, sun screen, inflatable neck pillow. Wait, are we having fondue?

Sergeant Jeffords: I can't wait. This weekend, I am Vacation Terry. No kids. No responsibilities. I'm just a balloon floating in the great blue sky and I am untethered.

Sergeant Jeffords: Urgh, what's in these?
Amy: Potatoes, butter, a little milk. Oh, and I ran out of salt, so I used baking soda.
Sergeant Jeffords: Why wouldn't you? They're both white powders. Of course they're interchangeable.
Amy: Yeah.

Sergeant Jeffords: Sir, if you ask me, you're acting like a real Victor Emmanuel III.

Sergeant Jeffords: Dude, your head is so small! Like a... No, no, it's so small! Jake: All right.
Sergeant Jeffords: Where do you keep your brains?

Sergeant Jeffords: Don't worry, I had a backup plan. I distracted her with a mirror. She's like a cockatiel, sir. Fascinated by her own reflection.

Boone: You don't have to dance every time.
Sergeant Jeffords: True, but I choose to dance every time.

Sergeant Jeffords: Case cleared. How you like me now, sucker? I mean, I hope you found peace.

Sergeant Jeffords: Is there anyone you could've told the crime stats to?
Hitchcock: Crime stats?
Gina: Wait. Do either of you even know what our arrest numbers were?
Scully: [thinking] Twelve.
Sergeant Jeffords: No!
Scully: Then no.
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah, they're not the leak.

Sergeant Jeffords: Can't you see? You all want the same thing, a perfect goodbye. But you're all getting in each other's way. We are the Nine-Nine, and we work best together. And we're getting out of here together. So we're gonna find that tube and we're gonna be crowned Grand Champions of the Nine-Nine together!
Caroline Saint-Jacques Renard: Except for the ugly one that made fun of my cello.
Sergeant Jeffords: Not now, Caroline Saint-Jacques Renard.
Captain Holt: I agree with Jeffords. Read the room, Caroline Saint-Jacques Renard.
Rosa: Great speech, Terry, but we're kind of trapped in here.
Sergeant Jeffords: Not for long. I'm gonna Kool-Aid Man us the hell out of here.
Jake: I thought you said that was impossible.
Sergeant Jeffords: It's not, I just find it demeaning. It's actually very easy.
Jake: Ah!
Sergeant Jeffords: [crashing] Oh, yeah!
Jake: Oh, yes! Now go through that wall!
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm not doing any more walls, Jake, we're free.
Jake: Fair enough, I had to ask.

Dozer-pad: You are forty-three minutes behind.
Sergeant Jeffords: I know! Get off my back, computer ghost!

Sergeant Jeffords: Can't you just let him off with a warning? Sometimes, being as tough as possible doesn't lead to the best outcome.
Rosa: This isn't Cagney calling Lacey a poopy-head. I'm not just gonna give him a time-out.
Sergeant Jeffords: Time-out? Are you kidding? "Poopy-head" means no "Doc McStuffins" for a week! Terry hates bathroom talk.