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Quotes from ‘M.E. Time’

M.E. Time

'M.E. Time' - Season 1, Episode 4

When Boyle takes lead on a possible homicide, Jake's attraction to the medical examiner delays the autopsy report. Meanwhile, Amy calls on Terry's artistic skills when the sketch artist falls sick.

Air Date: October 8, 2013.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: I threw away the photo because I think it's ostentatious to hang pictures of yourself, especially when you haven't earned a place on the wall.
Amy: Oh.
Captain Holt: But you would have me hang a Baroque oil painting of myself like I'm a North Korean dictator. What, no ornate gold frame? Why am I not astride my noble steed, clad in armor?
Amy: We could add a horse.

4.7

Quote from Amy

Captain Holt: Something to share with the rest of us, Santiago?
Amy: No, sir. I wasn't -- Peralta was the one that was talking!
Jake: God, you must've been the worst fourth grader ever.
Amy: Joke's on you! I skipped fourth grade.

4.2

Quote from Amy

Amy: You know, we're birds of a feather, you and I.
Holt: I hate cliches.
Amy: Cliches are the worst.

4

Quote from Amy

Amy: I can read him. And if anyone can figure out what's bothering him, it's me. He and I are exactly the same. Except that I'm younger, Cuban, female, single, and straight.
Scully: Captain Holt's not gay. *Amy & Jake stare at Scully*
Captain Holt's gay?
Amy: Seriously, man. Just retire.

4

Quote from Captain Holt

Rosa: You all right, Captain? Tough weekend?
Captain Holt: I went to Barbados with my husband. We wove hats out of palm fronds and swam with the stingrays. I've never been happier.

4

Quote from Captain Holt

Sergeant Jeffords: You look chipper, Captain. Fun weekend?
Captain Holt: There was a small fire in my home. I lost many photo albums of treasured memories. I'm devastated.

4

Quote from Scully

Scully: Well, how do you know he's even in a bad mood? It's impossible to read that guy.
-cut to-
Captain Holt: This is the most incompetent, worthless report I have ever read in my life. Get your act together, or so help me God, you won't live to see retirement.
-cut to-
Scully: It's like, what's the guy thinking? You know?

4

Quote from Amy

Amy: It'll cheer the captain up. He'll be over the moon. He may even lean back in his chair and nod slightly.

4

Quote from Scully

Captain Holt: Detectives, our monthly crime statistics are due. I want all paperwork on your closed cases by tomorrow. Scully, you can just write "I didn't close any" on a piece of paper.
Scully: You got it.

3.8

Quote from Jake

Jake: Wow. This guy must've weighed 500 pounds. I think we have an idea what killed him. Spoiler alert: it was not starvation.

3.7

Quote from Charles

Sergeant Jeffords: You're the primary, you're in charge. Take Peralta and Diaz.
Boyle: Yes. My fantasy threesome. Of cops on a case.

3.5

Quote from Jake

Amy: You can't give up control. You're terrible at taking your primary's orders. You just do whatever you want. I could go on and on and on.
Jake: Is something no lover of yours has ever said.

3.5

Quote from Amy

Captain Holt: Figure it out, Santiago. It's your case.
Santiago: Yes, I will do that.
Captain Holt: Are you bowing?
Santiago: No, this is how I walk.

3.5

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: What do you need Quasimodo? I've got to go meet Boyle and Peralta.

3.5

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Amy: Hey, sergeant, you know how you're really good at doodling?
Sergeant Jeffords: I know you think you're complimenting me, but calling them doodles is an insult. You a big fan of Picasso's doodles?

3.5

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: Wait, wait, wait. Slow down. Let's start with the eyes. Were they desperate, lonely? Did they betray heartache?
Victim: They were brown.
Sergeant Jeffords: Do you even want your purse back?

3.5

Quote from Jake

Jake: You know the medical examiner? I kind of had sex with her last night.
Amy: What?
Jake: Oh, sorry, I forgot who I was talking to. Sex is something that two adults do with their bodies when they're attracted to each other.
Rosa: He's right, Santiago, did you not know that?

3.5

Quote from Charles

Charles: You guys have been down here for two hours. What, did you have sex forty times?

3.5

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Scully: You could be a professional artist, boss. Like on the boardwalk.
Sergeant Jeffords: You think I should draw caricatures? That's garbage art. I don't draw giant-head people on surfboards.
Scully: I'm saying you could. You're that good.

3.5

Quote from Captain Holt

Amy: Knock knock.
Captain Holt: Knock with your hands. Saying it is ridiculous.

3.5

Quote from Rosa

Jake: Hey guys, can I tell you a secret?
Rosa: Do you know anything about my life?
Jake: No, I do not. Good point.

3

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Amy: Sarge, all of these are fine. How much longer are you gonna work on this?
Sergeant Jeffords: It's questions like that that made Van Gogh cut off his ear.
You can't put at a clock on art.
Ten minutes.

3

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: This is a lot of pressure. If I'm going to do this, it has to be done right.
Scully, get me my oils.

3

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