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Quotes from ‘Old School’

Old School

'Old School' - Season 1, Episode 8

When Jake meets one of his heroes, Jimmy Brogan, a former crime reporter, he tries to emulate his hero's old fashioned attitudes. His infatuation with the old-style reporter ends after Jake makes some drunken comments about the precinct which Brogan sees as "on the record". Meanwhile, Terry and Charles coach Rosa on how to appear on the witness stand.

Air Date: November 12, 2013.

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: And when this is over, I'm going to find you, and I'm going to break those little fingers.
Judge: Ms. Diaz, please stop threatening the stenographer!

4.6

Quote from Amy

Jake: I eat coffee grounds!
Amy: Sure you do, pineapples.

4

Quote from Rosa

Terry: We need to soften up your look. My wife and Charles's mom both donated some clothes.
Rosa: Your wife and Boyle's mom are both blind?

4

Quote from Jake

Captain Holt: You look like a corpse we just pulled out of the river.
Jake: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in his own pool. Big difference.

4

Quote from Jake

Jake: I thought I could handle my brown.
Uhh, I know. I'm sorry. It's gross.

4

Quote from Jake

Rosa: How much time do we have?
Jake: Scully ate his pot pie thirty minutes ago so we probably got ten minutes left on this nap. Twelve if he's turkey tired.

3.7

Quote from Jake

Jake: You can just make it out to "Death Wish." That's what everyone calls me 'cause I'm always first through the door.
Amy: You go through doors normally, and everyone calls you "Pineapples."
Jake: My grandma calls me "Pineapples", and I regret telling you that.

3.7

Quote from Jake

Amy: Look who's here. How was your night of old school drinking? Hmm? Pretty hungover?
Jake: Shh. Turn off your mouth siren.

3.7

Quote from Amy

Jake: Oh, wow, your butt's really warm.
Amy: My butt's normal. Your butt's the weird one.
Jake: Don't be mad. It's nice.

3.7

Quote from Amy

Jake: Jimmy Brogan wrote "The Squad" about bad-ass New York cops in the seventies. It's the best book I've ever read and I've read fifteen books.
Amy: Fifty books is not a lot. Wait, you said fifteen?

3.5

Quote from Jake

Jake: Distracted? Me? No, sir. Evil would love that. But I'm not giving evil the satisfaction. Not today.

3.5

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Terry: And always make good eye contact.
Charles: But don't stare at people.
Terry: Yeah, you gotta blink.
Charles: But don't blink too much.
Terry: Or too fast.
Charles: I think the bigger worry is slow blinks.
Terry: Don't blink too fast or slow or too much or too little.

3.5

Quote from Captain Holt

Jake: Sir, that's a brilliant idea.
Captain Holt: It wasn't an idea. It was a scathing indictment of your personal hero.

3.5

Quote from Jake

Jake: That hurt so bad. Let me know when he's gone so I can slide onto the nice, cool floor.

3.5

Quote from Charles

Boyle: Rosa, I think you're nervous.
Rosa: Of course I'm nervous. What did you think was wrong?
Terry: We just assumed you were a terrifying human being with a short fuse.
Boyle: But if the problem is that you're nervous, that's where Charles Boyle lives, baby.

3.5

Quote from Charles

Boyle: You just need to go to your happy place.
Rosa: What's that? Sounds stupid.
Boyle: Well, everyone's happy place is different. For me, I just imagine I'm slurping up the world's longest piece of linguine. It just keeps going and going, and every twenty feet of noodle, there's a sauce change.

3.5

Quote from Jake

Jimmy Brogan: Well maybe you should learn to handle your brown.
Jake: Eww.

3.5

Quote from Jake

Jake: Quick question, sir. You know how we've been trading favors back and forth, and it's your turn to give me one?
Captain Holt: None of that is true.
Jake: Yeah, I know.

3.3

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: Why do you care so much about some old reporter?
Jake: Some old reporter? Is the sky just some big blue hat that the world ears?
Rosa: No. And no one has ever thought that.

3.3

Quote from Amy

Amy: Woah, why are you here before me? Am I sleep? Is this a dream?

3

Quote from Charles

Jake: Fun side note, I later lost my virginity to Mrs. Stratton's daughter. It was very fast.
Boyle: Nice.

3

Quote from Jake

Jake: Oh, my whole body has dry mouth.

3

Quote from Charles

Rosa: I look like Aresenio.
Boyle: So it's perfect?

3

Quote from Jake

Jake: So good! You can barely even tell it's a chicken embryo.

3

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