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Quotes from ‘The Bet’

The Bet

'The Bet' - Season 1, Episode 13

When Jake wins a bet against Amy over who can catch the most criminals, she must go on a date with him. Meanwhile, Captain Holt holds a celebration for Charles, whose pain meds cause him to be unusually candid.

Air Date: January 14, 2014.

Quote from Charles

Charles: Truth time. We love your husband. He's a great cop. We will do anything to protect him. And you have incredibly attractive hands.
And you! What are you doing, lying to your wife? Unless you want to end up moving into my ex-wife's new boyfriend's basement with me, you better man up. Don't you ever keep anything from this beautiful woman again.
Seriously, you are beautiful. If he ever lies to you again, you can call me.

4.5

Quote from Charles

Jake: Okay, Boyle, you live in your ex-wife's new boyfriend's basement. I'm not taking advice from you.
Charles: I'm ashamed of my living situation!

4.4

Quote from Hitchcock

Hitchcock: What bet? What are you guys talking about?
Terry: Seriously? The bet? They've been keeping score all year. It comes up all the time. What are you doing all day?!
Hitchcock: Nothing. Why, you want to hang out?

4.2

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Oh, I've caused a problem. I think I am getting a text message. Bloop. Ah, there it is.

4

Quote from Jake

Charles: How much did you spend on this date?
Jake: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.

4

Quote from Gina

Charles: Have you seen Rosa?
Gina: Rosa died eight years ago. Come on, let's get you a drink.

4

Quote from Jake

Ray: Both of you have done exemplary work, which I appreciate.
Jake: And I can see that by the absolutely no indicators on your face.

3.7

Quote from Captain Holt

Amy: Captain, you look-
Captain Holt: No.

3.7

Quote from Jake

Jake: Captain, hey. You're looking stoic today. Like a wise, old oak.

3.5

Quote from Charles

Boyle: Gina, you're just trying to hurt me to distract you from your own internal pain. Also, you should use less conditioner, because this is a flat mess.

3.5

Quote from Gina

Captain Holt: Gina, please keep an eye on Boyle today. He's gonna say something to the wrong person and get himself punched.
Gina: Sure, I'd love to see Charles get punched.
Captain Holt: Try again.
Gina: I will stop Charles from getting punched.
Captain Holt: Correct.

3.5

Quote from Jake

Jake: They'll sing to her at midnight in the middle of Time Square. She and five hundred German tourists will savor that memory for all times.

3.5

Quote from Charles

Charles: Jake, do you know why little boys belittle girls' pigtails on playgrounds?
Jake: Because they're so easy to grab, they're just begging to be pulled.
Charles: Because they like the girls and that's the only way they know how to get their attention.
Jake: What are you saying?
Charles: All of this teasing. This elaborate date. Somewhere deep down, you like Amy. Like like her like her.

3.5

Quote from Jake

Jake: Oh. Sir. I'm right in the middle of this date and I can not reschedule. I have far, far too many non-refundable deposits. I'm renting a tiger cub by the hour.
Captain Holt: For what?
Jake: Don't even know. Waiting for inspiration.

3.5

Quote from Jake

Amy: Your stake-out bag is ninety-percent nuts.
Jake: I get snacky. Besides, nuts are super healthy. They're like 0% fat.
Amy: Jake, that's not true at all. It's actually the opposite.
Jake: What? That nut vendor lied to me!

3.5

Quote from Charles

Charles: I didn't know it was you. When I jumped in front of those bullets, I didn't know who I was protecting. I just saw a gun and an NYPD vest, and so I dove on instinct.
You've been extra nice to me because you thought I saved your life, but I only did what every good cop would do.
When you finally go out with me, and you will, it'll be because I do things only Charles Boyle will do.

3.5

Quote from Charles

Deputy Chief Gerber: Detective Boyle, I just wanted to say congratulations. Your medal was well deserved.
Charles: Thank you, sir. Your breath is terrible.

3.3

Quote from Jake

Jake: Amy Santiago, you have made me the happiest man on Earth. I spent one whole dollar on this ring. Will you go on the worst date ever with me? You have to say yes.
Amy: Yes.
Jake: She said yes. She said yes.

3

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