Gina: It's a sloppy Jessica. Mac n cheese, chili, pizza on a bun. Its everything I've wanted to eat for the last 48 hours.
Sergeant Jeffords: What happened? I thought you were gonna 'last forever bitches.'
Gina: Turns out I gave up easy. You hear that bitches? I gave up so easy.

Captain Holt: You're all in perfect shape.
Sergeant Jeffords: You can always be healthier, sir.
Amy: And I like the challenge.
Sergeant Jeffords: Plus it's good team building. We're gonna get through this together. Hey guys, pro tip. Lick the baggie. There's food molecules in there.

Sergeant Jeffords: All right, gang. Diet day 4. How's everyone holding up?
Gina: Honestly, I'm going to last forever. You hear that bitches? I'm gonna last forever.

Charles: Vivian got a job in suburban Ottawa. She wants me to retire from the NYPD and go with her.
Jake: Retire? We're supposed to die on the force together. Me in a big explosion and you committing suicide at my funeral out of respect.
Charles: I know.

Jake: I was hoping that my best man duties would be all whisky and cigars, but this is Charles we're talking about so we've got two straight days of wedding planning, plus he gave me this to prep, "Fancy Brudgom". It means fancy groom in Danish. According to Charles, the Danes throw the most beautiful weddings in the world. And the most violent funerals.

Sergeant Jeffords: Go back inside!
Gina: Are you talking to us or the farts?

Rosa: I've been working on a letter to send him.
Captain Holt: Yes. I saw a draft of it on your desk.
Rosa: What did you think?
Captain Holt: It was so horrifying I had to destroy the whole pad.

Amy: This diet is very scientific, sir. All the meals are pre-planned and delivered to your doorstep.
Gina: This is our breakfast.
Captain Holt: An orange wedge, three cashew nuts and a solitary grape.
Amy: It's actually more than you realize. Sometimes I can't even finish all of the grape.

Captain Holt: You embarrassed Officer Dietmore in front of his peers. He submitted an official complaint against you.
Rosa: Did he fill it out in crayon?
Captain Holt: No. But he did use a green pen, which seems crazy to me.

Gina: Hey, superstar. Why the long fart? Ooh, I meant face. Why the long face?
Sergeant Jeffords: Keep walking, Linetti.

Jake: There he is. My groom!
Charles: Hello my big, beautiful BM.
Jake: Best man. Just best man is fine.

Amy: Sorry? You bumbling son of a bitch. You just ruined my life. I hope you get hit by a truck and a dog takes a dump on your face.
Sergeant Jeffords: Nothing to see here. Just a little hypoglycaemic rage. Move along.

Captain Holt: What's going on? Why do you all have matching bags?
Sergeant Jeffords: We're doing a diet together. My wife found it. She heard about it at Mommy and Me graphic design. Wait, it might have been toddler karate.

Jake: Come on. Show me what you got.
Charles: Fred Astaire. Gene Kelly.
Jake: Liberace. Diane Keaton.

Jake: Hot! Hot! Spicy cake. Why?
Charles: That's Habanero pepper frosting because our marriage is going to sizzle.

Charles: Okay, be kind. I don't have a model's body like you.