Quotes from ‘The Swedes’

The Swedes

'The Swedes' - Season 3, Episode 9

In an attempt to solve an international case, Jake and Rosa are forced to work with a pair of Swedish cops and things get very competitive, very quickly. Meanwhile, Amy and Terry offer to help Gina prepare for a big test and Holt enlists Charles to sub in as his squash partner for an annual tournament.

Air Date: December 6, 2015.

Quote from Rosa

Jake: Hey, next week is my six-month anniversary with Amy. Should I do something special?
Rosa: You know what I like about our relationship, Jake? We don't talk about our love lives, or our families, or anything that's on our minds. It's why you're my closest friend in the world.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: It's been a pleasure talking with you about the duration of your flight. Good day.

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: You're what sneezes are!

Quote from Gina

Amy: Okay, let's talk planets. Jupiter is a gas giant.
Gina: So's Hitchcock. How does this help me?

Quote from Gina

Gina: And how do you know Terrence, space tie?

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: Oh my God, I just figured out where the diamonds are. We thought the shipping container came in on October 11, 10/11. But dumb Europeans write their dates backwards. We should have been going for the one from 10 November.
Jake: Of course. Stupid rest of the world writing their dates all dumb.

Quote from Charles

Boyle: There's no need for Holt to see me unleash the beast.

Quote from Jake

Jake: My fellow detectives, ours is not an easy job. The hours are long, the danger is constant, the pay is LOL. But today, a glimmer of hope. For today, a new vending machine. Behold him in all of his glory, so full of strength, and promise, and, most importantly, sodium, gluten and fat.

Quote from Jake

Jake: I hereby christen thee Snackie Chan.

Quote from Amy

Gina: Do you guys know anyone who'd want some used textbooks?
Amy: I'd love them. It's never too late to teach yourself something new.
Gina: So no one.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Unprofessional? Well, we were going to take you to our favorite laser tag place, but now you are officially uninvited.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: That's a strange little man.

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: They're probably telling Captain Holt how much they like to sauna together.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Please. They think they're so great just because they know each other's allergies. You know what I'm allergic to?
Rosa: Yep, them.
Jake: Totally. Also, bees. You should know that. If I got stung by a bee, I could die.

Quote from Gina

Amy: Astronomy is full of interesting facts. For instance, here's one Hollywood doesn't want you to know. A parsec is actually a measure of distance. One of the many inaccuracies in the Star Trek universe.
Gina: Uh-huh. And what's Star Wars?
Amy: Oh boy.

Quote from Charles

Boyle: You butternuts ready to get squashed?

Quote from Gina

Amy: Gina, great news.
Gina: Oh no, is Neil deGrasse Tyson here? He will not stop trying to friend me.

Quote from Jake

Jake: I hope they have saunas in Swedish prison.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Terry: I did graduate magna cum laude from Syracuse. I know that sounds like a brag. And it was! Terry killed it in college.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Plus, I know a thing or two about astronomy. I had eleven straight birthdays at the planetarium. That was also a brag.

Quote from Gina

Gina: My God, you guys are such pathetic nerds. But maybe that's what I need right now. Pathetic nerds.
Okay, You pathetic nerds can help me.
Terry: Thank you?
Gina: You are so welcome.

Captain Holt: Ah, Boyle. Just the man we were looking for. Kevin has accepted a fellowship to teach at the Sorbonne for the next six months.
Boyle: Oh, I love Paris. At least how it's represented in the movie Ratatouille.
Kevin: Uh-
Captain Holt: The rodent chef.
Kevin: Ah, yes. Farfetched.

Quote from Gina

Gina: You just made Earth lame, and that is my house.

Quote from Jake

Rosa: New York Public Library lets VIPs stay there overnight.
Jake: Ooh, that's perfect. But wait, how do I become a library VIP? I forgot to return "Superfudge" in the fourth grade, and I've been scared to go back ever since.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Nobody gets away from Jake Per- Eww! Something yucky touched me! Urgh, gross, gross, gross!

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: This place smells like a squid farted inside a whale's butt.
Jake: Yes, that is the exact combo of smells. Nicely done.

Quote from Jake

Jake: We're going to roll out the friggin' red carpet. Working on a jewel heist with Interpol, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
(To Amy) Second best.
Amy: Aww.
Jake: (Covers his mouth) First best. I was lying to Amy.

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