Rosa: All right, let's go.
Adrian Pimento: Yeah. I gotta drop you off and then I have a plane to catch.
Rosa: What, where are you going?
Adrian Pimento: Ugh. I took this job protecting a diamond mine in Northern Canada that's being terrorized by a pack of wolves? Apparently it's "illegal to shoot them" so I have to tear them apart limb from limb.
Rosa: How long you going for?
Adrian Pimento: As long as it takes me to find the alpha, kill it, take control of the pack, and then completely decimate the diamond mine. [laughs] Total double cross. All right, let's ride!
Both: Bye, Amy. [drive off]
Amy: No, wait. Rosa, no, no, you can't leave me here! This wasn't part of the plan! Or was this exactly the plan?

Amy: The hell? I'm stuck.
Rosa: Yeah, I rigged it. That's what you get for being a nerd who wears seatbelts. Cool people die gruesome, preventable deaths. Oh, here's my ride.
Adrian Pimento: Pimento's here.
Amy: Hi, Pimento.
Adrian Pimento: Amy, it has been too long. When are you gonna let me meet my godson?
Amy: He's not your godson?
Adrian Pimento: Okay, but when you die, I am going to raise him.

Adrian Pimento: I'm an insurance investigator now.
Charles: I thought you were in Alaska.
Adrian Pimento: Oh, yeah, I was after Rosa and I broke up. But then I accidentally killed a "protected buffalo", self-defense. Next thing I know, Fish and Game are all over my ass. I ended up in a fight with a bear, and I had to think to myself, why am I even here?
Jake: Wait a minute. You fought a bear?
Adrian Pimento: Big time. The trick on that: head-butt him in the penis, push him over a cliff.
Jake: Ah, I bet that works with a lot of animals.
Adrian Pimento: Only the male ones. Learned that the hard way.

Captain Holt: You know, I had a friend that had to retire from the force. He became a private investigator.
Adrian Pimento: Ooh, PI, huh? I like that. [laughs] "Hello, Mr. Branville, I found out where your wife's been going tonight. Have a seat, you're not gonna like this. She's cheating on you. What do you mean you knew that already? You killed her? And are framing me for the murder? I just left my prints all over the crime scene. Oh, you are an evil ge-" This, this I could get on board for.

Captain Holt: Your bookie lives in a college dorm?
Adrian Pimento: He's a freshman. They don't let them live off-campus first year. Doy.

Adrian Pimento: So there I am, naked, still holding the hedge trimmers when the chauffeur walks in and I say, "Guess you caught me red-handed."
Gabby Sholah: Because of the blood?
Adrian Pimento: Yeah, because of the blood! See, you get it.

Jake: It just doesn't make any sense. I mean, you love "The Dark Knight," you love "Inception," and you haven't even seen "Memento"?
Adrian Pimento: Jake, I don't know what to tell ya. I spend a lot of time in jungles, you know. They don't exactly get movies like that. It's usually big blockbusters like "Finding Dory."
Charles: 486 million domestic.
Adrian Pimento: When you factor in international, 1.2 billion.

Adrian Pimento: Four month? No, no, no. I watched this last night. That doesn't make any- Where am I? What is that table?
Jake: Calm down. You're at the Nine-Nine, and you know what a table is.
Adrian Pimento: I don't remember coming here. How did I get here?
Jake: Oh, my God. Pimento has "Memento" disease. Your memory is resetting like the guy from the movie "Memento."
Both: What?
Jake: You guys never saw "Memento"? It's the guy with no short-term memory, you know, Christopher Nolan's first movie.
Charles: Is it like Dory from "Finding Dory," she keeps forgetting where she's swimming?
Jake: No, no, it's like-
Adrian Pimento: Dory, yeah, yeah, yeah! I'm like the forgetful little fish.
Jake: Oh, I mean, yeah, it's like that, but it's also like-
Charles: That's what Dory says.
Adrian Pimento: Classic Dory, Jake!
Jake: Ugh, you guys really ruined the coolness of this "Memento" thing.
Adrian Pimento: Also, Jake, "Following" is Christopher Nolan's first movie. You sound like a grade A[bleep] out here.

Jake: Hey, Charles, I know you're still mad at me for not telling you Amy and I are trying, but I could really use your help.
Charles: That's not all I'm mad about, Jake. I'm upset because you keep blowing me off. We haven't hung out in weeks. We don't talk on the phone anymore. I can't remember the last time we painted pottery together. Sorry, I know this isn't the time to talk about this.
Jake: No, no, no, keep going. It's helping to distract me from the fact that I could fall and instantly die.
Adrian Pimento: Oh, no, from this height, it wouldn't be instant. When you hit the ground, your ribs would shatter, puncturing your lungs. You'd start to drown on your own blood, gurgling and-
Jake: Okay, Adrian, I'm being distracted by Charles right now, thank you.
Adrian Pimento: Okay.

Charles: Hey, how's it been since you stopped taking those pills?
Adrian Pimento: Well, thankfully, my full memory has come back, even the things that haunt me. [silence followed by manic laughter] Hey, Jake, I saw that movie you keep talking about.
Jake: You watched "Memento"? And what'd you think?
Adrian Pimento: It's okay. [long silence as Jake and Pimento look at each other]

Adrian Pimento: Help! Jake, what's happening? What is this ledge?
Jake: You must have tried to escape out the window and then your memory reset.
Adrian Pimento: What? I don't understand. Why would my memory reset?
Jake: It's just like the film "Finding Dory."
Adrian Pimento: Huh?
Jake: "Finding Dory."
Adrian Pimento: Ah, say no more! I completely understand!

Adrian Pimento: Huh, I'm really scared, Jake. I'm really scared.
Jake: Yeah, I know, just try and look at one thing and focus only on that until I can get Charles out here to help.
Adrian Pimento: Okay, okay. Ooh, there's a juicy old person butt in that window.
Jake: Why's it gotta be juicy and old?
Adrian Pimento: I don't know, but I'm grateful for it.
Jake: All right, just lock in on that.

Adrian Pimento: Uh, I'm scared of heights, Jake.
Jake: Yeah, so am I, Adrian.
Adrian Pimento: This might not be the time to tell you, but both my parents died falling out of lighthouses, separate incidents.
Jake: Oh, man, I have so many questions, but for now, just follow my lead, okay?

Jake: Okay, let's get you dressed and back to the precinct where it's safe.
Adrian Pimento: Okay.
Jake: Oh, Adrian, the back of your gown's open.
Adrian Pimento: Don't peek at my tushy.
Jake: I'm not. Wait, since when is your back covered in tattoos?
Adrian Pimento: It's not, otherwise I couldn't get buried in a Jewish cemetery.
Charles: Are you Jewish?
Adrian Pimento: Not yet. Ooh, I should ask that nurse if they've got a mohel on staff.

Charles: Okay, Adrian, there's very little evidence to go on, so we should take a look at your PI case files.
Adrian Pimento: Don't have any. Keep everything right up here in the old steel- Where am I? What is this bed?
Jake: And his memory's resetting. All right, Adrian, someone's trying to kill you.
Adrian Pimento: Uh-huh.
Jake: You have a memory disorder.
Adrian Pimento: That makes sense.
Jake: Like in the movie "Memento."
Adrian Pimento: I haven't seen that!
Charles: It's like "Finding Dory."
Adrian Pimento: Oh, now I know exactly what's going on. Thank you, Charles.