Amy: Hey, that was crazy, right? I mean, I can be scary.
Jake: Oh, yeah. I watch "Jeopardy" with you and you're a straight-up psycho.
Amy: Aww. Thanks, babe.
Jake: I'll take "Awesome Girlfriends" for 500, Alex.
Amy: I know you're being sweet, but don't disparage "Jeopardy."
Jake: Okay.

Amy: Check it: I got a copy of last year's workplace conflict presentation. All we have to do is study the crap out of it, then we can answer every question before that tool from HR even asks it. We'll be done in no time.
Rosa: So your solution for getting us out of the boring seminar is having us memorize the boring seminar.
Amy: Exactly.
Captain Holt: It's genius, and it's fun. I love committing things to memory.
Rosa: Yeah, I'm out. I don't do homework.
Amy: You do now. Get busy, ya flope.
Rosa: Flope?
Amy: It means loser, okay? It's new slang. People are saying it! The tween said so!

Jake: Happy Halloween. I see you all have your game faces on. Special shout-out to Amy who is clearly only wearing that pumpkin costume to conceal her heist equipment.
Amy: Nuh-uh. I was greeting kids at the Halloween party.
Rosa: Nobody believes you.

Amy: What is this, 1950? I can't date someone unless I have my father's approval?

Amy: How was your flight?
Victor Santiago: Oh, good, good, you know, I did "The Times" crossword.
Amy: Oh, great puzzle today, right?
Victor Santiago: Oh, my God, 17 down?
Amy: Oh, I know, what about 16 across?
Victor Santiago: What about 34 across?
Amy: Oh, what about 45 down?
Both: What about 20 across? [laughter]

Jake: I eat coffee grounds!
Amy: Sure you do, pineapples.

Jake: Jimmy Brogan wrote "The Squad" about bad-ass New York cops in the seventies. It's the best book I've ever read and I've read fifteen books.
Amy: Fifty books is not a lot. Wait, you said fifteen?

Amy: Well, some say Latin is a dead language, but I say it's just taking a long nap.

Amy: Oh, no Jake, why did you invite Teddy up here? You poured blue soda all over my life.

Jake: Oh, wow, your butt's really warm.
Amy: My butt's normal. Your butt's the weird one.
Jake: Don't be mad. It's nice.

Sergeant Jeffords: If you guys don't get back to work, I'm gonna start firing detectives.
Amy: And blanks! Sorry, I just never think of jokes.

Jake: Two, a huge hall full of cool police tech.
Rosa: Last year, I got to try out a heat ray.
Jake: Three, the Buffalo P.D. always throws an insane party. Last year, Amy got so drunk, she jumped a police horse into the pool.
Amy: Eight-drink Amy is an equestrian, and she's real bad at it.

Amy: I learned a bunch of new dance moves for tonight. Ones where you move your butt.

Amy: It's okay. Here, check this out. I've been spying on Holt for over a month. He brought a drone which he's using to take the tube to the Bark Hyatt Doggy Daycare where it will be retrieved by none other than Cheddar the dog, who will take it to a secret hiding place. We could grab it, but the Bark Hyatt play area has live feed webcams.
Rosa: Holt will see if someone goes for the tube.
Amy: Not if that someone is a dog.
Rosa: I'm not dressing up like a dog.
Bill: I'll do it. [Amy screams]
Rosa: Oh, my God!
Bill: I was eavesdropping and when the dog thing came up, I said, "Bill, this is your moment."
Amy: That's okay, Bill. I already have someone on in the inside. Meet Biscuit, the dog I adopted for the heist.
Rosa: Don't you have horrible allergies?
Amy: Or was that just a long con I perpetrated to win this heist?
Rosa: I don't think so.
Amy: You're right. I am covered in hives. Anyway, Biscuit is also enrolled at the Bark Hyatt where he's been trained to steal the tube right from under Cheddar's wet little nose. Then we visit Biscuit and get the tube.
Rosa: Nice work. I almost feel bad that I have to betray you.
Amy: What? Then don't!

Amy: You think that because you love me, and love has made you dumb.
Jake: I disagree, if anything, love has made me smarter. Remember last week when I boiled that egg?
Amy: That was big. I was really proud of you.