Amy Quotes Page 18 of 40

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Quote from the episode The Therapist

Amy: It's not a big deal, okay? Just take the book. I promise I won't tell anyone.
Hitchcock: Hey, Sarge, I heard you need some sex tips.
Amy: Except for the people I already told.

Quote from the episode Casecation

Jake: So have you ever heard of a guy named Bruno Rojas?
Amy: Yeah, big guy in the Colombian cartel, right?
Jake: He was, until he got shot in the chest yesterday by his top lieutenant. Apparently, the bullet went straight through his nipple.
Amy: Whoa. Nature's bull's-eye.
Jake: Oh, my God, I love the way your brain works.

Quote from the episode Casecation

Jake: So?
Amy: [singing] Casecation All I ever wanted.

Quote from the episode Casecation

Jake: All right, so how do we handle this?
Amy: I mean, there's only one thing to do when two people have diametrically opposing views on a subject.
Jake: Talk about it lovingly and decide how to move forward?
Amy: Structured debate.
Jake: Oh. Fun.
Amy: High school format. Modified Lincoln-Douglas. Let's take one hour apart for research and prep. Yeah.
Jake: Great, I'll just do a Lincoln-Douglas.

Quote from the episode Ransom

Amy: A baby store in Dumbo is having a contest to win a Snoog.
Rosa: Who or what is a Snoog?
Amy: Are you kidding me? It's only the best roller. It has the versatility of Sporjule, the safety rating of a Fajerb, and an even smoother ride than the Kinderbuscht.
Rosa: Are you having a stroke?
Amy: All the best strollers are from Scandinavia, where they don't hate people for having children.
Rosa: I saw "Midsommar." Those people have their own problems.

Quote from the episode Casecation

Amy: And the crazy part is, I really do want to go to the water park, but I can't give that to him because it's the only card I hold.

Quote from the episode Casecation

Amy: Speaking of which, I requested next week off so we can take an actual vacation to the water park.
Jake: I've never been more in love with you in my entire life. And hey, I've been thinking, and I do want to have kids. With you.
Amy: You're not scared anymore?
Jake: Oh, no, I am so scared. Maybe even more so than before, but I was scared in there with Pam too, and you know, I didn't panic or mess anything up there.
If anything, I was sharper. I was a freakin' debate genius.
Amy: Debate genius? Oh, that's very hot.
Jake: Oh, that's an added bonus. Okay, keep that energy up.

Quote from the episode The Bimbo

Charles: It's just that lunch is the one part of the day Commissioner Kelly hadn't ruined. People are pissed. Morale's really taken a hit.
Amy: Okay, I got this. Hey, squad. Lunch is on me today. Taking everyone out for pizza. [people cheer] And that's how you improve morale.
Sergeant Jeffords: Okay. You're not the only sergeant around here. Let me help.
This side of the room, lunch is on me, and we're getting something better than pizza. Sushi! [people cheer]
Amy: Are you trying to outdo me?
Sergeant Jeffords: No, no, no. Just trying to raise morale.
Amy: Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Morale, morale, morale. Okay.

Quote from the episode The Bimbo

Gary Jennings: Isn't this supposed to be an apology?
Amy: Yes. You're right. I'm sorry. I mean, I shot my husband with a real bullet two years ago, and it comes up way less than this.
Rosa: Way less than this.

Quote from the episode The Jimmy Jab Games II

Amy: Jake, I'm in. Are you in?
Jake: Amy, I'm not gonna make it! You just go for the day off. You've earned it.
Amy: No, we're gonna lose the car!
Jake: Oh, crap! Right, the car. Oh, no, we're gonna lose the car!
Amy: Hell no, we won't!
Jake: You "Armageddon'd" me.
Amy: I don't know what that means.

Quote from the episode Trying

Amy: I'm so exhausted.
Jake: Me too. But the doctor said that it could take a while.
Amy: I know. It's just... we're doing everything right, and it's still not working. What kind of perfect person do you have to be to get pregnant?
Hitchcock: We're having a baby!
Amy: Oh, rot in hell!

Quote from the episode Trying

Amy: No, from now on, we're gonna do it The Amy Way.
Jake: Does that mean we're going back to the overly scheduled sex thing?
Amy: No. We're going way more scheduled.
Jake: Ah, so even less fun.
Amy: Big time. This is a test, and we're failing. Because we're not studying hard enough.
Jake: Or maybe this is just one of those tests you can't study for?
Amy: [laughs maniacally]
Jake: Oh, wow, that's a new laugh.
Amy: Come on. We're going binder shopping.

Quote from the episode Debbie

Charles: You guys are moving fast, but there's no way you're actually comprehending anything. I'm taking my time and reading deliberately, and you know what they say, slow and steady wins the race.
Captain Holt: Psh, classic reg-reader bullcrap.
Amy: Yeah, what are you gonna say next, that you read to relax?
[Amy and Holt laugh]

Quote from the episode Pimento

Amy: What's up, squad? Hope y'all like condiments because I got all the sauce.
Rosa: Huh?
Amy: I arrested a tween shoplifter yesterday, and she was real cool at talking.
Sergeant Jeffords: I love you, Amy, but maybe slang isn't your thing.
Amy: [chuckles] Whatevs.

Quote from the episode Manhunter

Rosa: Secondly, we're not talking about you.
Sergeant Jeffords: What are you talking about, then?
Amy: Our favorite porns.
Sergeant Jeffords: What?
Rosa: It's true. We have specific favorite porns. And we're talking about 'em.
Amy: Yeah.
Sergeant Jeffords: Okay, legally, I feel as though I need to back away. But I want it to be known that I still do not believe you. Get back to work!

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