Amy Quotes Page 25 of 40

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Quote from the episode Cinco De Mayo

Jake: You said that we should reschedule the heist for another day, so why not today? To help distract Terry?
Amy: Yes. And I would love to defend my crown after I destroyed you all last year.
Jake: Well, I mean, the proposal was all part of my plan.
Amy: All I remember is you bowing to me on your knees.
Jake: Yeah, I was asking you to marry me.
Amy: Well, you look like a fool.

Quote from the episode Cinco De Mayo

Jake: Wow, really thought the "how dare you" was going to be linked to his mean sex comment, but okay.
Amy: Right, sorry. I'll have you know Jake and I wear each other out every single night.
Jake: Good lord, overcompensating. You know what? Maybe we just shouldn't talk about this at work.

Quote from the episode Sicko

Rosa: Captain Holt hates pranks. This is gonna backfire, man.
Jake: Ugh, fine, I'll tone it down. I'll move his podium a foot to the left.
Amy: What? He'll be so angry.
Jake: Okay, five inches.
Amy: Five?
Jake: Three?
Amy: Three?
Jake: One?
Amy: One?
Jake: All right. I'll move it a half inch.
Amy: Fine. It's your funeral.
Jake: Oh, my god.

Quote from the episode Manhunter

Rosa: Okay, good news. I found a bodega in the containment zone and got a bunch of pregnancy tests.
Amy: A bunch?
Rosa: Yeah. It's a New York bodega, you can't be too cautious.
Amy: Good point. Yep, expired ten years ago.
Rosa: Open. And used!
Amy: Made of gummies? Why?
Rosa: Weirdly vibrating.
Amy: This is for teens. That's dark.

Quote from the episode Manhunter

Rosa: Secondly, we're not talking about you.
Sergeant Jeffords: What are you talking about, then?
Amy: Our favorite porns.
Sergeant Jeffords: What?
Rosa: It's true. We have specific favorite porns. And we're talking about 'em.
Amy: Yeah.
Sergeant Jeffords: Okay, legally, I feel as though I need to back away. But I want it to be known that I still do not believe you. Get back to work!

Quote from the episode Pimento

Amy: What's up, squad? Hope y'all like condiments because I got all the sauce.
Rosa: Huh?
Amy: I arrested a tween shoplifter yesterday, and she was real cool at talking.
Sergeant Jeffords: I love you, Amy, but maybe slang isn't your thing.
Amy: [chuckles] Whatevs.

Quote from the episode The Jimmy Jab Games II

Amy: Jake, I'm in. Are you in?
Jake: Amy, I'm not gonna make it! You just go for the day off. You've earned it.
Amy: No, we're gonna lose the car!
Jake: Oh, crap! Right, the car. Oh, no, we're gonna lose the car!
Amy: Hell no, we won't!
Jake: You "Armageddon'd" me.
Amy: I don't know what that means.

Quote from the episode Debbie

Charles: You guys are moving fast, but there's no way you're actually comprehending anything. I'm taking my time and reading deliberately, and you know what they say, slow and steady wins the race.
Captain Holt: Psh, classic reg-reader bullcrap.
Amy: Yeah, what are you gonna say next, that you read to relax?
[Amy and Holt laugh]

Quote from the episode Trying

Amy: No, from now on, we're gonna do it The Amy Way.
Jake: Does that mean we're going back to the overly scheduled sex thing?
Amy: No. We're going way more scheduled.
Jake: Ah, so even less fun.
Amy: Big time. This is a test, and we're failing. Because we're not studying hard enough.
Jake: Or maybe this is just one of those tests you can't study for?
Amy: [laughs maniacally]
Jake: Oh, wow, that's a new laugh.
Amy: Come on. We're going binder shopping.

Quote from the episode Trying

Amy: I'm so exhausted.
Jake: Me too. But the doctor said that it could take a while.
Amy: I know. It's just... we're doing everything right, and it's still not working. What kind of perfect person do you have to be to get pregnant?
Hitchcock: We're having a baby!
Amy: Oh, rot in hell!

Quote from the episode Valloweaster

Amy: Okay, I'll go next. I have... [chuckles] Geppetto?
Jake: Yeah.
Amy: Ugh, that must be Charles.
Charles: It is because I'm the puppeteer, and you're all my little puppets.
Amy: Ugh. Can we choke our partner to death with our handcuffs?
Jake: Sure, choke away.

Quote from the episode Ransom

Amy: A baby store in Dumbo is having a contest to win a Snoog.
Rosa: Who or what is a Snoog?
Amy: Are you kidding me? It's only the best roller. It has the versatility of Sporjule, the safety rating of a Fajerb, and an even smoother ride than the Kinderbuscht.
Rosa: Are you having a stroke?
Amy: All the best strollers are from Scandinavia, where they don't hate people for having children.
Rosa: I saw "Midsommar." Those people have their own problems.

Quote from the episode The Good Ones

Captain Holt: To Sergeant Santiago.You were on maternity leave longer than expected because of the pandemic, but now that all first responders have been vaccinated, you've returned. Cheers.
All: Cheers.
Jake: Not exactly an emotional welcome back... Are you crying?
Amy: Oh, he just always knows exactly what to say.
Jake: She's consistent.

Quote from the episode The Good Ones

Sergeant Jeffords: You okay? Your leg shake is rattling the windows out there.
Amy: I'm stressed. It's Captain Holt. You won't believe what he said to me.
[flashback:]
Captain Holt: Hello, Santiago. How's your lunch?
[present:]
Amy: Pretty bad, right?
Sergeant Jeffords: That he politely asked you about your lunch?
Amy: It was small talk. Captain Holt always says that true friends sit in silence. Small talk is for...
Both: Strangers and con men.
Amy: So I'm a stranger now. This is my big fear about having a child, losing my spark with my boss.

Quote from the episode The Good Ones

Amy: Ever since I came back, you've been acting distant. What happened to Raymy?
Captain Holt: Raymy?
Amy: Ray and Amy, Raymy. It's what people call us.
Captain Holt: I don't know a single person who's ever called us that.
Amy: Regardless, something is very wrong between us. You made small talk with me yesterday.
Captain Holt: Oh... you noticed that.
Amy: Of course I did. It was like a knife to my heart, which is why we have to do the exercises in this book. Please, sir? Please?
Captain Holt: If I agree, will you go back to work?
Amy: Absolutely.
Captain Holt: Fine. What's the next exercise?
Amy: It is... way too sexual.
Captain Holt: Wow.
Amy: We're gonna have to skip around a bit to make this appropriate for work.

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