Amy Quotes Page 31 of 40

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Quote from the episode DFW

Jake: This is not on us. I mean, it was crazy for her to think moving to New York was a good idea, right?
Amy: Yes, it was unrealistic. Just like Mongkut thinking a ten-year-old American girl would pay his bail and help him seek vengeance on his brother.
Jake: You know, when I'm not distracted by this, I'd really love to hear the full Mongkut story.
Amy: It gets dark.
Jake: Yup.

Quote from the episode Bachelor/ette Party

Kylie: All right, let's go! Never have I ever had sex in the back of a car.
Amy: No way. Everyone's done that?
Rosa: Yeah. Except for you.
Amy: Kylie, you're telling me you had sex in the back of a car?
Kylie: Actually, it was a school bus, on the way back from Model U.N. with Myanmar.
Amy: It's like I don't even know you.

Quote from the episode Bachelor/ette Party

Amy: Actually, it technically wasn't just one night.
Rosa: Explain.
Amy: Well, he caught me trying to sneak out the next morning, and then he started crying, so I hugged him, and while we were hugging, um, his mom FaceTimed, and he introduced me as his girlfriend.
Gina: Okay, so then right after the call, you broke up with him, ended it.
Amy: Uhh-
Rosa: How long were you with crying wedding-band man bun?
Amy: Not that long. I doubt he even remembers me.
Constantine: Oh, my God. Amy Santiago. Ladies and gentlemen, the love of my life is here.
Amy: Three months. We dated for three months.

Quote from the episode Bachelor/ette Party

Constantine: I know why you're here, Turtle Bug.
Amy: I feel like the fact that you just called me that means you don't.

Quote from the episode Bachelor/ette Party

Amy: I'm gonna tell Jake everything. I'm cancelling your band. Boom.
Constantine: Okay! That'll just cost you $15,000.
Amy: Excuse me?
Constantine: Well, when I heard it was your wedding, I knew your fiancée would cancel when he found out about us, so I put in a huge kill fee. Yeah, he never even noticed.
Amy: He didn't read the terms and conditions.

Quote from the episode Bachelor/ette Party

Rosa: Wrong. You're forgetting the most obvious option. Steal the contract and destroy it.
Amy: Destroy a legal document? I can't do that. You were right, I'm a boring square who's never actually had a crazy, stranger bone session.

Quote from the episode Show Me Going

Amy: Great. Now I'm caught in a turf war between my new squad and my old squad.
Rosa: I know this is a big deal for you as a manager, but I gotta pee real bad.
Amy: Right. Right, right, right. I believe in you. Teach that toilet a lesson!

Quote from the episode Show Me Going

Amy: Yes! I'll just search "toilet videos." Oh! So much porn! Probably should've been more specific. "Person fixing broken toilet." More porn. How about this? "Instructional video from a plumber on how to fix an actual toilet." Still porn! How is that still porn?

Quote from the episode White Whale

Rosa: He's gone.
Amy: Look at the vent. We were right. He came back for the cash.
Eunice: Hi, it's Eunice, the lady with the chambermaid.
Amy: Yes, Eunice, we know who you are.

Quote from the episode Coral Palms Pt. 2

Amy: Uh, if I may ask, how did you become captain? You just seem a little, uh ... [squealing] ...
Captain C.J. Jason Stentley: Unqualified?
Amy: No. No, no, no, no.
Captain C.J. Jason Stentley: It's because I am, actually.

Quote from the episode Coral Palms Pt. 2

Amy: Listen, you selfish jerks, that guy in there, the one playing the bongos right now, he thinks we're killing it, so he's just staying out of our way.
Well, the only reason we're killing it is because Captain Holt never let us be satisfied with ourselves. He always inspired us to work harder and smarter, to be better. And if he were here right now, he'd be ashamed of us.

Quote from the episode The Night Shift

Amy: Cool, maybe we can mill around and small talk about how some of us are big lying liars who lie all the time like a bunch of liars, Rosa.

Quote from the episode The Night Shift

Amy: Hey, I saw you earlier. You weren't in the bathroom. You were on a park bench playing on your phone. Yeah, you left me to do everything while I thought you were pooping. I wish you were pooping. I wish to God.

Quote from the episode The Night Shift

Rosa: I'm sorry.
Amy: Oh, Rosa, crying don't know what to do. Pat, pat. This feels wrong.

Quote from the episode The Night Shift

Amy: No, Diaz, wait maybe he's just really, really injured. [to herself] Come on, Amy.

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