Amy: Captain Holt? This can't be real. Someone please see him before I punch myself in the face.

Jake: Rosa has this dumb rule about not mixing work with personal stuff.
Amy: That's actually not a bad policy. I once gave my aunt a jaywalking ticket and things really deteriorated between us.

Jake: Give me your hair dryer.
Rosa: What?
Amy: What are you talking about?
Jake: Don't you carry one in your purse?
Amy: Have you ever met a human woman?

Amy: I could drive.
Captain Holt: No, you don't know where we're going. But if you'd like a cup of coffee, there's an old bakery in that neighborhood. The coffee there is terrible, but I would enjoy the nostalgia.
Amy: I love terrible coffee. Now let's put away Richard Wilcox, that no good punk.
Captain Holt: He's 86-years-old.
Amy: You don't out grow punk, sir.

Amy: I'd also like to apologize for my partner. His parents didn't give him enough attention.

Scully: I didn't even notice he was wearing a cape.
Amy: You're a cop. You should have realized that.

Rosa: I'm out. Four hours is the most time I've ever spent alone with any human. It was the worst experience of my life.
Amy: What about that time we drove up to Boston together. That was about four hours. Oh, I see what just happened.

Charles: Look, I don't want to sound like a Scully here, but I think it's hopeless. Nobody could organize this place.
Sergeant Jeffords: Nobody?
[later:]
Amy: Here's what I need. Sticky notes, three sizes, ten colors. Permanent markers, clickable only. I don't want caps slowing us down. And I need garbage bags, 33 gallon, blackout, cinch top. What are you all still doing here? Go, go, go!

Captain Holt: She's scared.
Amy: She's not scared. With all due respect, sir, Gina has no feelings.

Moira: Why can't I find a good man?
Amy: Could be because you're in prison for murder.
Moira: Nah. That's not it.
Amy: Yeah, that's not it.

Jake: So I marked all the corners where taxi has been spotted on this map. You'll probably notice right away that it makes the shape of a boob.
Amy: This looks great. Confirms Devon's story. He says his dealer hangs out here, in the underboob.

Captain Holt: And no one won the heist.
All: Captain!
Jake: Get over it, ya jag!
Amy: Yeah, ya jag!

Dr. Ronald Yee: The flies don't sense blood. They're just regular flies.
Amy: But, Dr. Yee, you can't be a fraud. You gave a TED Talk.

Jake: Why'd you have to say he was boring?
Amy: Because he is boring. His favorite app on his phone is "contacts."

Amy: We don't know no secret. You be crazy. I always talk like this. Down in Kokomo.