Amy: Oh, can you at least put her on a leash?
Brian: She's a medical professional. Okay? Would you keep a doctor on a leash?
Amy: That dog does not help you with your foot pain. You just want an excuse to bring her everywhere! Your dog is a fraud. Fraud dog!

Rosa: Now scram. I have a case report to type up.
Amy: Uh, there's no way you're using a keyboard with your hands like that. Oh, I could help you! Not to brag, but at typing camp, everyone called me "The Finger Queen." Oh, my God, that sounds really dirty. I swear that's what it meant.
Rosa: Yeah, it was typing camp. Nobody thinks that.

Jake: Why'd you have to say he was boring?
Amy: Because he is boring. His favorite app on his phone is "contacts."

Amy: Okay. First, the good news. I've generated a detailed timeline broken down into 30-second increments to keep us on track. The bad news: we're already 16.5 increments behind schedule.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, man. Terry feels overwhelmed.
Amy: Good! Use it! Neil Armstrong was overwhelmed when he walked on the Moon, but you know what he did? He walked on the Moon!

Captain Holt: And no one won the heist.
All: Captain!
Jake: Get over it, ya jag!
Amy: Yeah, ya jag!

Amy: I'm sorry. I tried to be myself and they hated it.

Jake: All right, fine. Forget the study. I just don't want to lose what we already have.
Amy: Ask anyone with children and they'll tell you children bring meaning and love into your life. Yes, there may be some moments that you lose, but there will also be new moments. Take the water park. I would never go with you, but you know who would? Your kid.
Jake: Point to Amy.
Captain Holt: That's not your call to make, Peralta. [bell dings] Point to Amy.

Charles: It's for the turkey, so I can chop its head off when it gets here.
Sergeant Jeffords: Chop its head off?
Charles: I ordered a live turkey. It's being delivered. Because you know what they say: The yummiest turkey is the one that just died in your hands.
Gina: Charles, you can't kill an animal in here. That's horrible. It's disgusting. We won't let you do it, right, Amy?
Amy: It's getting late. Don't make a mess.

Amy: Guys, focus. We need to start planning. So when's the wedding? Next summer, next fall, next winter?
Rosa: Next week.
Amy: Next what?
Charles: Next week?
Amy: That is not enough time to plan a bridal shower, an engagement brunch, a papier-mâché sculpture of you two kissing.

Amy: All right. Listen up, people. The next 14 hours are gonna be hell, but in the end you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you've finally done something worthwhile with your lives.
Sergeant Jeffords: I kinda think the police work we do-
Amy: Eh-eh-eh! I don't have time to stroke your damn ego, Sergeant. Let's make a wedding!

Amy: I get that there's always been tension between uniformed officers and detectives, but Rosa is one of the good guys. I'm sure she knows your name.
Della: You clearly just texted her the answer.
Rosa: No, she didn't, Della Avocado.
Della: It's Alvarado.
Amy: Stupid auto-correct.

Amy: Hey, can I take a couple photos of your desk? I want to submit them to "Organizers Quarterly."
Sergeant Jeffords: What?
Rosa: There's a magazine about organizing?
Amy: Yeah. I want to be featured as Organizer of the Month. Just imagine, me on the cover with tons of scarves lying around. I'm holding them up like, "This is too many scarves. We got to do something!"

Amy: We don't know no secret. You be crazy. I always talk like this. Down in Kokomo.

Jake: So I marked all the corners where taxi has been spotted on this map. You'll probably notice right away that it makes the shape of a boob.
Amy: This looks great. Confirms Devon's story. He says his dealer hangs out here, in the underboob.

Jake: Wait a minute. That's it. If there's something great for everyone, there's something great for the narc.
[cut to:]
Jake: Babe, hi. How are you enjoying the party?
Amy: Trying to chat me up? It won't work. Chaperone's code forbids fraternization with chaperonees.