Captain Holt: You think that semi-colon was a mistake? No, it was a juicy piece of bait, and she unhinged her jaw and swallowed it whole.

Madeline Wuntch: I've examined his proposal. There's no proof that giggle pig is a serious problem.
Captain Holt: So we're just supposed to wait until it turns into an epidemic. You're like the League of Nations in '36: just hoping the Abyssinian crisis to resolves itself.
Madeline Wuntch: That's the lesson you draw from the fall of Addis Ababa? Raymond, you sound so naive.
Captain Holt: And you sound just like Victor Emmanuel III.

Captain Holt: More importantly, Wuntch got served. Oh my god, Wuntch sounds like lunch. Oh, this opens up so many new avenues.

Captain Holt: I don't want to sound dramatic, but today has been sub-optimal. That doesn't leave this office.

Captain Holt: Good news is our evaluation will be done by Deputy Chief Brandt. We have a good rapport. He was once my captain.
Charles: So he's kinda like our grand-captain?
Captain Holt: That is amazingly funny.

Captain Holt: Captain Wuntch. Good to see you. But if you're here, who's guarding Hades?

Captain Holt: Look at that. You've helped me find my smile.

Sergeant Jeffords: I was trying to lighten the mood. The squad's been stressed since these drills started. Plus, you ordered me to act like a seven year old. Seven year olds like to have fun.
Captain Holt: That's true. When I was seven, I used to sneak into my father's office to see his collection of antique globes.

Captain Holt: I was trying to shield you. Do you know how much stress I've been under lately? My husband says he hasn't seen me smile in weeks.
Sergeant Jeffords: How much did you smile before that?
Captain Holt: Constantly.

Captain Holt: You used my logic against me. Well played, Timmy. Well played.

Captain Holt: Drinks are on me. There's a two drink maximum per person. It is non-transferable. Your guests will pay their own tabs. Valet parking is not included. Tomorrow's briefing will be fifteen minutes earlier than usual. And, I'm very proud of you, Peralta. We missed you.