Charles Quotes Page 11 of 60

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Quote from the episode Cheddar

Jake: Wait, stop talking. I'm hearing something in the background. What is that, a train and a girl whimpering?
Charles: That's me; I'm so scared you're not gonna find me.

Quote from the episode The Overmining

Jake: Hey there, Boyle. How was your weekend?
Charles: Well, actually I got a little sick.
Jake: Oh, really? I'm sorry to hear that, man.
Charles: Yeah, "Bullets over Broadway" was on TV. And I came down with a big ol' Dianne Wiest infection. *silent stares between Jake and Charles* Like "yeast."

Quote from the episode The Audit

Captain Holt: Now, what do we do about the rats?
Charles: Well, lucky for us, I have recently come into a lot of wolf urine.
Rosa: That's lucky for us how?
Charles: It creates a scent impression that there are predators nearby. I've been dousing Nikolaj's shoes with it to scare off bullies at his preschool.
Rosa: Did it work?
Charles: No, now they call him pee boy. He's much worse off. But wolf urine definitely scares off rats. We can use it to herd them toward the traps.

Quote from the episode Ava

Charles: Cluck, cluck! Gobble, gobble! Guess who just came from the P.S. 321 Thanksgiving Parade?
Jake: Charles, you actually might-
Charles: Who's Charles? I'm Tommy Gobbler. And I'm stuffed with Thanksgiving happiness! Gobble, gobble!
Jake: Seriously, Charles-
Charles: Uh-uh, I warned you! I'm Tommy Gobbler, you silly pilgrim.
Jake: Okay, Tommy Gobbler.
Charles: There you go!
Jake: These are the Davidsons. They want to know what happened to their missing grandmother.
Charles: I have some deeply tragic news for you.

Quote from the episode Bachelor/ette Party

Jake: Charles, tell us everything we're doing tonight.
Charles: Well, that could take a long time. I've been planning this bachelor party for ten years.
Jake: But I met Amy eight years ago.
Charles: What does she have to do with this? JK. I'm happy for you both.

Quote from the episode Halloween IV

Charles: I'm just so sick of roller skating's dangerous image. We're not all bad boys.
Jake: Yeah, none.

Quote from the episode Captain Kim

Jake: You know, just put on a leather jacket and become a badass. You also need a chunky bracelet with fringe.
Charles: Wrong. Ever since Rosa gave me this baby, people have been treating me like I'm cool. The girl at the coffee shop even got the name on my cup right. It says "Charles," not "Cassie."
Amy: You know, I think it's ess about the jacket and more about the fact that you're feeling confident. Maybe this cool version of Charles was in there all along.
Charles: Amy, I love you, but that's insane. It's a magic jacket.

Quote from the episode The Mattress

Captain Holt: Boyle, I thought you should know. I just got Gertie back from the garage. She looks as good as new. Better, even, because after 12 years, they finally got the Annie Lennox cassette out of the tape player.
Charles: Oh, I love her.

Quote from the episode The Chopper

Jake: Did you know that my dream has always been to have my picture taken with a mountain of recovered cash?
Charles: And it's always been my dream to take that picture of you, Jake.

Quote from the episode Crime & Punishment

Sergeant Jeffords: There's no need to stress out. The lawyer's very confident.
Charles: Not good enough. I need to do everything I can to save Jake.
Sergeant Jeffords: Charles, you're falling apart. And that's not helping anyone. You need to get your crap in order.
Charles: Okay, you're right. I'll take a nap. I'll eat. I'll dye my pubes.
Sergeant Jeffords: You can dye all your hair.
Charles: No. There's no time.

Quote from the episode Gintars

Charles: It's just- Adoption is complicated. No matter how much I want to be, I'm not Nikolaj's real father.
Jake: Come on, Charles. Of course you are.
Charles: Well, that'll be up to him. And he may even change his mind about it throughout his life. I mean, all I can do is make him feel safe and give him as much love as I can.
Jake: Well, I think Nikolaj is very lucky to have you.
Charles: Nikolaj.

Quote from the episode HalloVeen

Charles: Look, Sarge, I think everyone knows that I planted the idea in Jake's head eight years ago.
Amy: [flashback] Oh, hi, I'm starting today. Detective Santiago.
Jake: Oh, Detective Peralta. Welcome aboard.
Charles: I'm hearing wedding bells. Hi, Detective Boyle.
Amy: [present day] That actually really slowed things down. It took, like, four years for me to forget that memory.
Charles: Yeah, I'm my own worst enemy.

Quote from the episode Valloweaster

Charles: Why would you do that? Jake and Holt are like the '92 dream team.
Amy: I know you're not talking about sports, so who do you think the '92 Dream Team was?
Charles: Aladdin and Abu.
Amy: Right.

Quote from the episode Game of Boyles

Charles: Here it is. Pappy Boyle's farm. I spent every summer here as a kid.
Jake: Got to say, it's nicer than I was expecting.
Charles: Pappy did well for himself. He went to business school in New York. He got a job in Wall Street. And one day his hand got caught in a subway door. And he was dragged from Times Square into Queens. Largest settlement in city history.

Quote from the episode Bureau

Charles: Curse this perfect butt.

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