Jake: Ah, okay, great news. The smell of burnt sweatpants and singed leg hair is finally dissipating.
Charles: I just hope I can grow it back by Speedo season.

Jake: We need a new plan, and we need it now.
Amy: Because the walls are closing in and I can't breathe.
Jake: Come on, guys, we're just spitballing. There's no stupid ideas.
Charles: What if we walk around the neighborhood in Captain Holt's clothes, wait till Cheddar picks up the smell?

Gina: But mine is the mighty wolf. And if you want to beat an alpha, you have to be an alpha.
Charles: Wrongo. If you're good enough at being a beta, then the alpha takes mercy on you and ends up giving you what you want.

Charles: Look, why don't we just take our mind off everything? We're in first class. We get free movies.
Amy: What? No. We can't enjoy ourselves while the squad is in danger. That's not fair.
Charles: Amy, we're trapped here for three hours. There's nothing else we can do.
Amy: Fine, I'll watch a movie, but nothing we'll like too much. No new releases.
Charles: Of course not. We'll just put on whatever's first alphabetically. [gasps] "27 Dresses."

Captain Holt: Welcome back, Peralta. I just heard from the mayor. To apologize for what happened to you, they're sending you to Disney World. You and one male guest.
Jake: As long as I don't have to go on any of the scary rides.
Charles: I'd just go for the shows.

Charles: Shalom, Amy.
Amy: Charles, what are you doing?
Charles: Taking this undercover mission seriously. Seems like I'm the only one.
Amy: It's a bus station. We don't need disguises. Anyone can be here.
Charles: Typical shiksa.

Captain Holt: She set us up.
Charles: Oy vey.

Amy: How did she know we were mirroring her phone?
Charles: We had one chance, and we blew it!
Amy: I know you're upset, but it's really hard to take you seriously when you still look like that.
Charles: I used Broadway-caliber spirit gum. This baby is fused to my cheeks.

Captain Holt: I am in shock, Peralta. I can't believe you released Morris Richman. We have evidence.
Charles: Great evidence that Jake found.
Captain Holt: Exactly, which makes it even worse that he let him go.
Charles: That's not fair. I was trying to help, but he tricked me.

Captain Holt: And now you're just standing here, mum as a mouse. Have you nothing to say for yourself?
Jake: I can explain.
Charles: Of course he can. My boy's got bunches of explunches. Hit 'em, Jake.

Charles: Nice, Sarge! Keep lifting heavy stuff like that, and maybe you'll work off some of that bulk, huh?
Sergeant Jeffords: What?

Charles: It's happening. Jake is gonna pop the question. He's gonna ask me to be his BM.
Rosa: No.
Charles: BM, best man, is a common abbreviation.
Rosa: No one but you has ever used it.

Jake: What do you say, bud? Will you be my BM?
Charles: Yes! Yes, a million times, yes! In your face, Terry!
Sergeant Jeffords: What? I'm holding a sparkler for you. I helped organize a lot of this.
Charles: Well, you can stick that sparkler up your butt. I'm the best man!

Charles: Put this down: we got a truck.
Amy: What? Really? That's huge.
Charles: Take a look.
Amy: Is that the NYPD police auction site?
Charles: Yeah, that's how I found out about it. And there's our baby. Isn't she a-
Amy: Murder truck? That's the truck from the Tinga Time Taco murders!
Charles: Yes, two brothers were using a taco truck to move heroin and then were killed by the cartel that supplied them.
Amy: Not just killed, Boyle. Dismembered. Right in the truck.
Charles: Right in our truck. That's why it was such bargain. Everyone else was like, "Ooh, there's a knee in the fryer. I don't want to sell food out of this."
Amy: They found a knee in the fryer?
Charles: Exactly. You get it. Well, now I get to go pick it up. Oh, almost forgot my hazmat suit.

Amy: I can't believe you're leaning into the murder thing.
Charles: Well, it'll get people talking. Check out the menu. It's printed on a crime scene photo.