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Quote from the episode The Tattler

Rosa: Hey. So you know how Alicia and I broke up because she moved to London, then we tried to make it work, but the distance was too much and we broke up again?
Charles: No. The last thing you told me about yourself was that you were bi.

Quote from the episode Paranoia

Charles: May the best maid win.

Quote from the episode The Bank Job

Gina: Charles, you know I legally can't answer. Do you want me to have my baby in jail?
Charles: All right, no more questions. Only statements. You are glowing. Brother to sister, you've never looked sexier.
Sergeant Jeffords: Come on, man.

Quote from the episode Coral Palms Pt. 3

Jake: So we know that Figgis is in Coral Palms, but we don't know where he is, and we don't know how many guys he's got with him. The plan is to lure them into the Fun Zone and ambush them. Any questions?
Charles: Yes, did you miss us? Did you ever look up at the moon and wonder if I was looking at it too?
Jake: Yes.
Charles: Knew it.

Quote from the episode Show Me Going

Charles: I can't. I dwell on everything. I'm a dweller. I wake up every morning, I'm worrying about the Zika virus. Why is nobody talking about Zika anymore? There's no way it fixed!

Quote from the episode Ransom

Sergeant Jeffords: You know, I bet we could sell this stuff.
Charles: You really think so? [gasps] We can call our company "The Bone Boys." No! "More Bone, Less Moan." No! "Workplace Bone Buds." That's the one. I'm registering it.
Sergeant Jeffords: Ewh, we can name the company later.

Quote from the episode The Party

Charles: No, there's no one in my life. *wink* Sort of a sad thing to wink about, I realize now.

Quote from the episode Captain Latvia

Charles: See, all Boyle men are blessed with a flat ass, which is perfect for scooching.

Quote from the episode Boyle's Hunch

Charles: Yeah, and here's a terrible artist. All he does is have sex on canvasses. Any fourth-grader could do that.
Jake: ... but ... they shouldn't.
Charles: No.

Quote from the episode Captain Kim

Jake: Brace yourselves. You're about to look into the face of pure evil.
Captain Julie Kim: Ah, good morning, good morning, good morning. I'm Captain Julie Kim.
Charles: And I'm Chuck. If you want results, stay the hell out of my way. [tosses coffee cup]
Captain Julie Kim: Okay, wow, I guess I know who the office badass is.

Quote from the episode The Big House Pt. 2

Charles: I know how we can get Hawkins' phone. We get her to visit prison. They make you leave your phone in your car. I wanted to record Jake for the podcast, but they said I couldn't. I had to have Terry on as a guest.
Sergeant Jeffords: I gave up my Saturday for that. You said I did great.
Charles: I'm the host. I have to say that.

Quote from the episode Full Boyle

Gina: Nice jeans, Charles. Those are surprisingly low-waisted.
Charles: Eyes up here, Gina. I'm more than just a piece of ass.
Gina: Not bad. Not bad.

Quote from the episode Captain Kim

Sergeant Jeffords: Did you just give away your magic jacket?
Charles: Oh, Terry, it wasn't the jacket. I realize now that Chuck was in here. I've had another man deep inside me this whole time.
Sergeant Jeffords: Welcome back, Charles.
Charles: Oh, right away? It was the jacket.

Quote from the episode Captain Latvia

Jake: Did you unbutton another button?
Charles: Eyes up here, Jake. So, did you learn anything, or were you just staring at my body the whole time?

Quote from the episode Beach House

Charles: Mommy is out of town and we are gonna party!
Gina: You call your ex-wife Mommy?
Charles: Not conciously.

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