Charles: The muggings were confined to Cabot Street. They began over two months ago.
Gina: Just like this briefing did. Please go to charisma class.

Amy: Come on, guys. It's getting late. Open the door.
Gina: Not until you promise to let this little turkey live out the rest of his life with Rosa.
Rosa: What? Why can't it live with you?
Gina: I'm an ideas man.

Jake: I totally planned everything for Charles.This is a nightmare!
Gina: Ew! What can Charles Boyle do that I can't?
Jake: Roller-skate like an angel.
Gina: Whore, I'm great on skates. Or are you forgetting Jenn Sutton's fourth grade birthday party?
Jake: I have definitely forgotten that.
Gina: Well, I skated like a pro, and then I spent seven minutes in heaven with the Todd Cohen. It was dope.

Gina: But there is one thing: I need a private place where I can pump. I was thinking maybe I could take this whole floor and you guys could move down to that place where we park.
Sergeant Jeffords: The garage?
Gina: Sure, if you think that works.

Gina: Hey, Terry, got any new baby pics?
Sergeant Jeffords: You hate looking at pictures of my twins. You said since they were identical I didn't need to take photos of both.
Gina: That doesn't sound like Auntie Gina. I love your baby pics. And your stories of the twins' sleep schedules.

Gina: Who are these golden-throated dorks?

Gina: That's enough. Sure, we're untrained. Yes, our voices sound like garbage, and, yes, the MTA has a huge head start on us, and it's embarrassing. But you know what? We're the Nine-Nine. And nothing can stand in our way.
Sergeant Jeffords: She's right. We're gonna beat their butts tonight.
Gina: Oh, tonight? Tonight, tonight? Yeah, I can't. I have "Hamilton" tickets.

Amy: And then you release the jack. And voila. Tire changed. Don't you feel empowered?
Gina: Yes, there's nothing more empowering than getting a condescending colleague to do a menial task for you.
Amy: What are you talking about?
Gina: I'm talking about how you just changed my tire while I sat here watching a 20-minute video of a monkey getting its hair combed.
Amy: But you were paying attention. You laughed at my joke.
Gina: Did I?
[cut to: ]
Amy: I like to call this the jack of all trades.
Gina: [watching her phone] Silly monkey! Oh, this monkey.
[present:]
Amy: So you really didn't learn anything?
Gina: No, but I hope you did. Can't school Gina. Gina schools you. Class dismissed.

Sergeant Jeffords: Now all we need is the death certificate officially notarized.
Amy: You want me to break the sacred oath I took to become a notary? It's not a problem. 'Cause I'm a badass. Just like Rosa. So I am going to stamp this, and violate my oath-
Gina: [stamps the death certificate] You can keep talking, but we're done here.

Gina: Okay, Charles. This is your final exam.
Amy: We're gonna show you a text and then two potential responses. You need to tell us which is more appropriate.
Gina: Amy writes, "Leaving the virgin festival"
Amy: Gina!
Gina: "Be there in ten minutes." Do you reply, "I'll be counting down the seconds. 600, 599, 598, JK, LOL, 597, 596, smiley face, smiley face, cat smiley, thumbs up." Or, "Okay."
Charles: It's a trick question. The text requires no response.
Gina: Charles Boyle, welcome back to the Nine-Nine text chain.

Amy: Party round two: the quiz. Winner gets a question mark crown.
Gina: So cool. Um, I'll take Lonely Arts and Crafts for 800.
Amy: First of all, I've made many friends through arts and crafts.
Gina: And how many of them are googly eyed?

Gina: Jake, I had a work thing. I can't believe you're being such a baby about this.
Jake: I'm not being a baby.
Gina: Look, I'm sorry I lied, okay? It was a big opportunity for me. I was having drinks with the brand director of a bottled water company. I can't say which one, but it rhymes with, "fart water."

Kevin: Gina, I know you like champagne with a drop of pomegranate juice.
Gina: I like to say it's nature's classiest alcohol mixed with its nastiest fruit.

Amy: Guys, I lied. My briefing was a total failure.
Gina: But you told Captain Holt it went great in such a normal way.

Captain Holt: So what's your plan? Not with chess, with your life moving forward.
Gina: I mean, I could do basically anything. I could come up with a new form of cryptocurrency called GinaCoin, make millions. Could write a YA novel about literally anything, I think, and make millions. I could discover a new type of melon, make millions.