Hitchcock Quotes Page 10 of 14

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Quote from the episode The Negotiation

Captain Holt: You look incredible.
Hitchcock: You bet I do. These pants really flatter my dong. What? Dong wasn't on the list.

Quote from the episode Hitchcock & Scully

Captain Holt: Are you guys okay? Did you get hit?
Scully: No. It hit the tub, but the bullet didn't make it through.
Jake: The slut sauce it saved you.
Hitchcock: You bet your nips it did, skid mark.
Jake: Oh, Hitchcock. You suck, man.

Quote from the episode 99

Amy: It's crazy how different things were when McGintley was Captain. It was like the Wild West.
Jake: Oh, yeah, we had some fun.
Amy: I didn't. In every one of those photos, I look uptight and worried. Meanwhile, everyone else looks like they're having the time of their life.
Hitchcock: That's because they're all stress-free, not like us Type A's.

Quote from the episode Hitchcock & Scully

Jake: Which once again begs the question, what happened to those guys? I mean, when did it all fall apart?
[cut to young Hitchcock and Scully at Wing Slutz]
Young Scully: Hey, Donna, just want to make sure you're okay here working at Wing Slutz.
Young Marissa Costa: Yeah. It's a good job, and I'm excited about my new life. Thanks.
Young Scully: Our pleas. Well, we're gonna go hit the gym for the second time today.
Young Marissa Costa: Wait. You need some protein to fuel those hard bodies. It's on me.
Young Hitchcock: Ah, what the heck. One wing can't hurt.
[Berlin's "Take My Breath Away" playing]

Quote from the episode The Crime Scene

Scully: Hey, we heard there's a hot dog in here.
Rosa: No. Jake lied for no reason.
Hitchcock: That son of a bitch!

Quote from the episode Halloween

Hitchcock: Amy paid me fifty bucks to trade places with her for the rest of the night.
Charles: Really?
Hitchcock: Yeah. I'm going to use that money to buy two suits.

Quote from the episode The Party

Hitchcock: Here, wear my shirt. I was gonna take it off anyway.

Quote from the episode The Big House Pt.1

Rosa: Sarge, Captain. Oh, you guys brought Hitchcock.
Captain Holt: Uh, no, we just bumped into him in the lobby. We don't know why he's here.
Hitchcock: Jenny, baby! I love what prison's doing to your figure.

Quote from the episode The Slump

Sergeant Jeffords: Hitchcock, Boyle needs you to fill out a line-up.
Hitchcock: Oh, great! I'll take my shirt off.
Charles: No one asked you to take your shirt off. Stop volunteering to take your shirt off.
Hitchcock: I can't hear you. Shirt's over my ears!

Quote from the episode The Last Ride

Hitchcock: You can't boss me around. I'm the greatest detective in the history of here. Mr. Nine-Nine, out.

Quote from the episode The Audit

Hitchcock: I have a similar question about browser histories.
Captain Holt: Just throw your computer away.
Hitchcock: Roger that.

Quote from the episode Game Night

Captain Holt: And so concludes this year's Secret Santa drawing. Just a quick reminder of the rules: $40 limit, no perishable items, and no homemade massage coupons, Hitchcock.
Hitchcock: Fine, then everyone'll have to pay full price for them.

Quote from the episode Ticking Clocks

Hitchcock: Worst morning ever.
Jake: Yeah, it was stressful, but we got the guy. Surprised you two are taking it so hard.
Hitchcock: We were talking about our lunch, you self-absorbed son-of-a-bitch.
Jake: Come on.

Quote from the episode Trying

Hitchcock: What's she saying?
Captain Holt: She says that Boris is not a good man. He's cheating on her sister. She knows because he's the real father of her baby.
Rosa: Oh.
Hitchcock: What? Oh, no!

Quote from the episode Bureau

Jake: Oh. What are you guys celebrating?
Scully: Terry was mad at us, but we didn't know what he was talking about, and he went away.
Hitchcock: Huge day.

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