Hitchcock: Well, you guys are in for a beating.
Amy: What, is that some kind of kidney pill?
Scully: It's to reduce my various swellings.
Hitchcock: Basically, it's just speed.
Amy: That's illegal, and-
Hitchcock: Ack-ack-ack-ack!

Hitchcock: It was her. I heard her setting up a drop.
Jake: And why were you in the women's room?
Hitchcock: It wasn't for a gross reason. The men's room was occupied, and I had to dump out.
Jake: Well, as long as it wasn't for a gross reason.

Hitchcock: We walked along the river for hours, just talking and laughing. She even gave me her real number.
Rosa: Really?
Hitchcock: Check it out.
Rosa: That's just a dirty old napkin covered in sauce.
Hitchcock: Oh, no. Her number! It's totally ruined. I knew I shouldn't have had those breakfast wings.

Hitchcock: What's she saying?
Captain Holt: She says that Boris is not a good man. He's cheating on her sister. She knows because he's the real father of her baby.
Rosa: Oh.
Hitchcock: What? Oh, no!

Hitchcock: Guys, I figured out what went wrong between Anna and me. My job. I'm a workaholic! Not anymore. From now on, I'm focusing on what really matters. Come on, Scully, let's get some wings.
Scully: Aw, bud, I thought you'd never ask.

Charles: The mastermind was ADA Greene. He didn't have enough evidence for the case. He was afraid he was gonna lose and needed someone to blame it on.
Captain Holt: Whom did he work with... Obviously someone who knew about the pranks and that Amy called Jake "babe."
Charles: Excellent question, Captain. It took a little digging to find that out, but I pulled some personnel files and combed through some social media. Do you know what Greene's wife's maiden name is?
Hitchcock: Duchovny?
Charles: No.
Hitchcock: Zappa.
Charles: No.
Hitchcock: Fagerbakke.
Charles: No, Booth.

Scully: Question: How much does it cost to raise a sunken ship?
Hitchcock: Answer: Less than a casino makes in a year. Hopefully.

Scully: How dare you. You have no proof.
Rosa: There's crumbs all over your desks.
Hitchcock: Well, these aren't pie crumbs. Bread, cookie, pizza, sandwich, blintz, and one good old fashioned potato chip. No pie here. I just humiliated you.

Captain Holt: My pie, and it wasn't even eaten. Just thrown away like common street trash.
Hitchcock: Makes me sick. Spend your life on the force, and it never gets easier.

Amy: Yes, that was a delicious lunch, Gary! And I agree, our group does seem happier than it was before.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, the pizza was that good?
Amy: Pizza? Right, that's what I said we were getting before we decided to uh-snazz it up.
Charles: Oh, you guys snazzed?
Amy: Yeah, we snazzed all the way to La Petite Creperie.
Hitchcock: I thought we couldn't say "snazz." Oh, no, I was thinking of [bleep]. We can't say [bleep]. Carry on.

Scully: Hey, Amy, can we have a second?
Amy: Oh, I'm kind of in the middle of something, you [long bleep]!
Hitchcock: Oh yeah? Well [bleep] yourself!

Rosa: Okay, we have time for one more question.
Hitchcock: Oh! Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Rosa: Nope. Absolutely not. We're done.
Hitchcock: Smart. It was not tasteful.