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Quote from the episode Lights Out

Amy: Captain, Lieutenant, the dance was great, and it really helped, thank you.
Jake: Dance? What dance?
Captain Holt: She doesn't know what she's talking about. Mommy brain much?
Sergeant Jeffords: Captain Holt and I did a hip-hop dance routine.
Jake: Oh. I see. You know what? I don't even care that I missed it, because right now, I am holding my son, and there's nothing more important in the world than that.
Rosa: I have a video, if you wanna see it.
Jake: Amy, hold this baby. Rosa, give me that phone. Give me that phone. Everyone wash your hands.

Quote from the episode Lights Out

Jake: [sighs] Are we gonna be okay at this? I mean, this entire day felt like a warning from the universe. I almost missed the birth, we had our baby at the precinct, a firefighter touched our child.
Amy: You washed him off?
Jake: Yeah, but I'll always know.
Amy: Babe, we talked about this. Everyone balances work and kids.
Jake: Yeah, but everyone's not a cop.
Amy: True, but... when our son wants to hear about the day he was born, we get to tell him that his dad helped a bunch of people and foiled a bank robbery.
Jake: Guess that was kind of cool. [laughs] And his mom managed a city-wide emergency while actually giving birth.
Amy: [sighs] I'm proud for our son to have you as a dad.
Jake: Me too. For you to be the mom. I wasn't just agreeing with the nice thing you said about me.
Amy: I love you.
Jake: Love you too.

Quote from the episode Lights Out

Jake: Yes I am! I'm here.
Amy: Oh, Jake.
Jake: I can't believe I made it. I'm gonna see the birth of my... [gasping] We're on page 53! Babe, we're on page 53.
Amy: [screams] I know!
Jake: I rode a horse.

Quote from the episode Lights Out

Jake: You know, now that I'm up here, I realize I don't know how to ride a horse. It's probably pretty self-explanatory, right? Yah! Oh, no! Move! Everyone move, I don't know how to ride a horse!

Quote from the episode Lights Out

Jake: How am I going to get back to the precinct? This thing is way too slow.
Charles: Not if we all band together and pedal like hell.
Jake: It's not gonna happen, Charles. Dotty's asleep, Kayla's flirting with Luis, and Briana's peeing in a trash can. That's illegal, Briana.
Briana: Oh, you know you love it.

Quote from the episode Lights Out

Jake: [on the phone] You're giving birth at the precinct? Is that safe?
Amy: It's gonna be okay. There's a bunch of firefighters here.
Jake: Right, and they're basically just glorified EMTs that live together and sleep in bunk beds.

Quote from the episode Lights Out

Amy: [answers phone] Jake?
Jake: Hey, Ames, I'm so sorry we're not there yet, but a guy fell down the stairs, and then the old lady shot a perp and then we stopped a bank robbery...
Kayla: And I lost my shoe.
Jake: And Kayla lost her shoe, but we're almost to the hospital. Are you there yet? What room are you in?
Amy: The break room.
Jake: What? Why?
Amy: There isn't enough time. I have to have the baby here.
Jake: But me and my crazy crew made it to the hospital. That's our birth story!
Amy: Screw your birth story, just get here!

Quote from the episode Lights Out

Charles: Guys, this is taking way too long. When she gets back, we have to pedal faster.
Russ: Sorry, I have a gunshot wound in my leg.
Dotty: It didn't even hit bone, you sissy.
Briana: Oh, if you're in pain, here have some of this. It's bubblegum flavored gin.
Russ: I can't. I'm two years sober.
Jake: What? No you're not. You got drunk and crashed into the power plant.
Russ: Yeah, that was a relapse. I fell off the wagon.
Jake: Okay, so you're clearly lying, which means... you planted the bottle of vodka.
Charles: Which means the crash wasn't an accident.
Jake: And you caused the blackout on purpose, why?
Russ: I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank too much and that was... [screams] She's fingering my wound!
Dotty: Tell us what you're up to.
Russ: The banks! We're hitting all the banks on Union.
Charles: Dotty, stop. Please let go.
Jake: Dotty, that's against the law.
Dotty: I am the law.
Jake: What made you like this?

Quote from the episode Lights Out

Jake: Thanks for letting us hijack your bachelorette party.
Kayla: Oh, it's what we do. We're, like, so random.
Briana: Yeah, in Red Bank, where we're from, everyone's like, "Uh-oh, here comes trouble."
Kayla: Wait, we have to stop.
Jake: No, no, no... no stopping. Why are we stopping?
Kayla: I lost both my shoes back there. I gotta go find them. [yelps] Update. I still have one shoe on, but I think I broke my ankle. But I'm gonna still try to find the other one.

Quote from the episode Lights Out

Woman: [o.s.] Help, help!
Charles: Jake, we don't have time. We'll call it in. Let someone else handle it.
Jake: No, we can't ignore a cry for help. We can handcuff him to the railing Dotty, call out if you need anything.
Dotty: I'd feel safer if you just shot him.
Jake: Dotty, no. We're not gonna shoot him!

Quote from the episode Lights Out

Charles: We should walk. It's only 27 blocks, it's gotta be faster than this.
[cut to Dotty tottering with a walker along the sidewalk:]
Charles: I mean, it's a little bit faster.
Jake: Is it? Hey, Dotty, just weighing our options here. Have you ever been worn like a backpack?

Quote from the episode Lights Out

Jake: Ugh, we haven't moved. Why is there so much traffic? Stupid Uber, New York used to be a paradise of open road.
Charles: Try the siren again. [siren blares]
Dotty: In my day, people respected police.
Jake: They respect us; they just have nowhere to go.
Dotty: God knows they won't go back to their own country.
Jake: Dotty, I really wish you weren't such a big part of my son's birth story.

Quote from the episode Lights Out

Dotty: Excuse me, my apartment is on the seventh floor, and the elevator isn't working. I'm getting cold.
Jake: Well, we're headed back to our precinct. There's emergency power if you want to wait there for the lights to come back on.
Charles: I'll get in back.
Dotty: I'm Dorothy, but my friends call me Dotty. Although these days there are fewer and fewer of them.
Jake: Charles? Uh, this is great, Dotty, but we're kind of in a hurry. My wife just went into labor and I want to get there in time for the birth.
Dotty: Why? The only man in the room should be the doctor.
Jake: Okay.
Dotty: All the dad needs to do is to make the money and have a nice, thick belt for when it's time to teach him a lesson.
Russ: My dad hit me with a belt. Soon as I got big enough, I shot him.
Jake: Wow, what a fun group for this, the most important day of my life.

Quote from the episode Lights Out

Jake: Hey, what happened?
Officer Rick: Someone lost control of their car, jumped the curb, went through the fence, and rammed into the transformer. Guy must have been drunk. There was an empty bottle of vodka on the floor of the car.
Jake: Okay, Charles, I see two possibilities. One, he was vaporized into a being of pure electricity, becoming a supervillain known only as "The Surge Freak."
Officer Rick: Seems unlikely.
Jake: Yeah, I know, Officer Rick, that's why I said there were two possibilities. He probably just hobbled off so he wouldn't get a DUI. Here, we'll follow this very obvious trail of blood. Happy now? Stupid Officer Rick and his stupid joyless approach to life. Come on.

Quote from the episode Lights Out

Amy: Charles, get it together. I want you and Jake to go to the Gowanus power substation. That's where the transformer exploded. Work with ESU, get us a timetable for the power being restored, and hurry!
Jake: Wow, look at my pregnant wife taking charge. I don't know whether to be proud or turned on.
Amy: I said hurry!
Jake: Oh, my God, it's both.

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