Hestus: Actually, you know what? That's a high school graduation ring. Dan Marino High, class of 2003.
Jake: Marino High, home of the Dolphins, I suspect.
Hestus: Nope, Pet Detectives. Town was really into Marino's cameo in Ace Ventura.
Jake: Ah, it stands to reason. Classic film, one of my childhood favorites. And it only gets overtly transphobic at the very end, so a win.

Jake: [sighs] Well, I guess this is it. So long, Nine-Nine. [turns off lights]
Janitor: Hey!
Sergeant Jeffords: What are you doing? You can't turn off the lights at a working police precinct!
Jake: Right, sorry. Got caught up in my own thing. There we go.

[about a year later:]
Sergeant Jeffords: Now that that's been sorted, are there any questions?
Jake: Yes! I have a question! Captain Jeffords, are you ready for the Halloween Heist?
Sergeant Jeffords: What are you doing, Peralta? Last year was the final heist. We all agreed it was over.
Jake: Ah, Terry, you jolly simpleton. That was obviously a ruse. I mean, did you really think I was gonna let Hitchcock win the last heist? I mean, that would be crazy! Hitchcock? It would've been unforgiveable.
Hitchcock: That's true, it felt wrong.
Captain Holt: I know someone who's in. The old janitor, which is actually me! Deputy Commissioner Raymond Holt.
Amy: And he's not the only one. I'm in too.
Rosa: Me too.
Gina: As am I. Gina Linetti.
Jake: That's right, Terry, this is happening every year. We're in each other's lives forever, whether you like it or not. So, what do you say, Captain? Are we doing this?
Sergeant Jeffords: What I say is... Nine-Nine!
All: Nine-Nine!

Sergeant Jeffords: Wait, wait, wait, did you say your goodbye to the Nine-Nine? Where you going?
Jake: Uh, well, I was hoping that this would be a more dramatic moment accompanied by fireworks but... I'm leaving the NYPD.
Captain Holt: You are?
Rosa: What?
Gina: Theriouthly?
Sergeant Jeffords: For real?
Jake: Yeah. Today was my last day. And now it looks like it's gonna end with all of us locked in a storage facility.

Charles: Ah, Jake, I'm sorry you didn't get your perfect goodbye.
Jake: Yeah. This whole thing did kinda turn into a scalding hot mess. But to be honest, I think I just wanted a big dramatic moment so that I wouldn't feel sad. Because goodbyes are inherently sad. They mean that something's ending. And this one is especially sad because what we had was so great. But it's not all sad, right? We're moving on to things that we love. And we'll always have the memories of our times together, even though Hitchcock won the heist, which makes me so mad I wanna swallow my own tongue and die.
Captain Holt: It's a disgrace.
Jake: Anyways, I say we hang out, have a drink, and enjoy all of us being together one last time. To the squad.
All: To the squad.
Gina: You just drank cement! [all spit out]
Sergeant Jeffords: Why?

Charles: He's gone, we're trapped!
Caroline Saint-Jacques Renard: Pardon me, excuse me. Did you just say we're trapped?
Jake: Who the hell are you?
Captain Holt: You don't recognize Caroline Saint-Jacques Renard? The associate principal cellist for the Berlin Philharmonic? She's my surprise celebrity.
Jake: Are you kidding me? You ruined my big goodbye to the Nine-Nine so we can listen to some nerd play a giant violin?
Caroline Saint-Jacques Renard: Shall I begin?
Jake: No.

Rosa: All right, who has the real tube?
Bill: I do. [shutters close] [all shouting at once]
Charles: What are you doing, Bill?
Bill: [o.s.] I'm sorry, but this is your fault for ending the heists.They're my only source of income. You're still my best friends. Goodbye!
Jake: Bill!

Jake: There you are, my cheating my wife! Give me the tube.
Amy: I don't have it. The baby's empty. You lied to me!
Jake: I'm not the liar, you're the liar. I put a tracker in the tube so I know you've hidden it somewhere in this... nope, you were telling the truth, it's on the move. Someone else has it.

Rosa: So, let's crown me. The Grand Champion of the Nine-Nine. [opens tube] A six-month subscription to the Rosetta Stone?
Captain Holt: That's my present for Peralta.
Jake: Your present to me is school? I'm glad you're leaving.

Jake: It doesn't matter what you do, Ames, you're not gonna ruin this for me.
Amy: Sorry, Jake, but I'm afraid I have to. You'll thank me later.
Jake: Wait, what does that mean?
Charles: [sits up] I know what it means! [both gasp] I heard you talking to Teddy outside the supply closet you locked me in.
Amy: Damn it! How did you get out? [soft chirping]
Jake: [gasps] Mlepnos.
Charles: Amy's throwing you the perfect goodbye.
Jake: Over my dead butt crack, she is. Although, thank you, that was a very nice thought. Now drive!

Amy: You're cutting me out? This is about you wanting fireworks, isn't it?
Jake: Oh, Amy, it's about so much more than that.
[later:]
Jake: It's one million percent just about the fireworks.
Charles: Those look very dangerous.
Jake: No, it'll be fine. We're not gonna be anywhere near when it goes off. You control the whole thing from your phone.
Charles: How do you know when it's armed?
Jake: The red light starts blinking.
Charles: Like that one?
Jake: Uh-oh, uh, uh... you know what? This is okay, this is okay. I can just turn it off using the app. "Set up your profile first?" Why? How many times am I gonna use a fireworks app?
Charles: It started counting down!
Jake: Name, email. "Select the squares with stop signs in them?"
Charles: Okay, Jake, we gotta go!
Jake: Is a stop light a stop sign? Charles, is a stop light a stop sign?
Charles: I don't know, they both require full stops! Jake, come on!
Jake: All right, I'm in. No, "username already taken?" Who would want to use "Jake?" [countdown beeping] Oh, no.

Amy: Oh, my God. You're awake. I can't believe it, you're actually awake.
Jake: Hey. Wait a minute. What's going on? I gotta get back to the heist.
Amy: No, the heist? Jake, you've been in a coma for seven years.
Jake: What?

Jake: Hello? Hello? Is there anyone here? Mlepnos?
Mlepnos: No.
Jake: What? Yeah. You played violin at my wedding. You're Mlepnos!
Mlepnos: No, my name is Jerry. Jerry Barfralatistan.
Jake: What? It doesn't matter. I need your help. Can you please hand me the keys that are down there?
Mlepnos: Yeah, yeah, yes. Thank you, I love keys.
Jake: Oh...
Mlepnos: And this is for you. [soft chirping]
Jake: What?
Mlepnos: As they say in my country, a chicky for a key.
Jake: Right. And what country is that again?
Mlepnos: Honolulu.
Jake: Okay. You know, if it's all the same, I'd really just rather have the key.
Mlepnos: You no want chicky? I don't want key.
Jake: Oh, perfect. Yes! Thank you, Mlepnos.
Mlepnos: No, it's Jerry... Barkakanatsan.
Jake: I feel like maybe you said it a little different the first time.

Jake: The plan was lure everyone to the Brooklyn Bridge and give you all gifts. So, here's yours.
Charles: Oh!
Jake: The dummy tubes just unscrew.
Charles: Okay. The most recent issue of Fancy Brudgom magazine?
Jake: You know how you always wanted them to do a Fancy Bedste Venner feature on us?
Charles: Yeah, but that's just for the fanciest best friends.
Jake: Turn to page 63.
Charles: Oh, my God, you didn't. You did! We're Fancy Bedste Venners!
Jake: We're Fancy Bedste Venners!
Both: We're Fancy Bedste Venners!

Jake: Hey, bud.
Charles: How'd you know where I was?
Jake: Because this is where you had to be because this is where it happened.
[flashback: nine years ago:]
Charles: Hey.
Jake: Hey. Sorry to drag you in on the weekend.
Charles: Oh, it's fine, I don't mind spending a few hours with my best friend. I shouldn't have said that. It was too soon.
Jake: No. Charles, you're my best friend too.
Dr. Oliver Cox: Hey, guys. I found another leg!
Jake: Oh, how gross!
[present:]
Jake: I forgot that we wore those fashion scarves for like a month that year.
Charles: I still think they worked.
Jake: No.