Jake: Hey, that reminds me, Gina, we still haven't secured a celebrity guest for the party. How would you feel about the guy who shot that video of that rat smoking a vape pen?
Gina: Can we get the rat?
Jake: Pretty sure the rat is just a big ball of tumors at this point. Is that the vibe you're going for?
Gina: Maybe.

Jake: Gina, big news. Terry's friend got back to us and he says they're doing security for Bayside High's number one wrestler: A.C. Slater. That's right, Mario Lopez.
Gina: Oh, my God. I had such a big crush on him.
Jake: Yeah, we all had a big crush on A.C. Slater. Get in line! [laughs] I'll be cooler when we meet him.
Gina: I should hope so.

Jake: Okay, we're about to walk into the land of money. Remember, all rich people are monsters, so unleash the beast.

Jake: Gina, the bathrooms here are amazing. I just peed on gold. I peed on gold!

Gina: You okay?
Jake: Yeah, I'm totally fine. It really wasn't that bad of a beating. I don't know why I'm lying. You were there. You held me as I wept.

Mario Lopez: Hey, um, it's raining outside. Is it cool if I just wait here until my car comes?
Jake: Get out of here, Slater! Get out!

Sergeant Jeffords: Gina, it's okay. You're scared.
Jake: Tare-bear, I love you, but don't try and hop on my thing, okay?

Jake: I think we need to all get on the same page for what do to about this Gina situation.
Charles: Well, we should tell her we believe in her.
Jake: Good point, Chorles.

Jake: Charles, will you relax? You're gonna love Neil.
Sergeant Jeffords: It's not Neil. Why would it be Neil? It's Doug Judy.
Jake: Oh, right. Someone we all know in a police capacity.

Sergeant Jeffords: Well, I want to ask Doug Judy some questions. You have his number?
Jake: I always make contact through his mom. I'll put you in touch with her, but remember, she thinks I'm his assistant Mangy Carl, and he's a famous architect who's designing LeBron James' new school for black astronauts.

Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, my. I didn't know. I understand. Good-bye. So Doug Judy will not be coming in.
Jake: What? Why not?
[cut to Jake and Sarge at a funeral:]
Jake: Oh, I see. He is dead.

Trudy Judy: Doug said you have a beautiful voice.
Jake: Oh, he did? [singing] Well, I Suppose that's true.

Sergeant Jeffords: Doug Judy, you're under arrest.
Jake: What? Sarge? You are really bringing down the vibe at this funeral.

Sergeant Jeffords: What the hell is that?
Doug Judy: Jake got me this disguise so some criminal doesn't see me in here and tell Stefano.
Sergeant Jeffords: Okay, but why is Jake also wearing them?
Jake: Uh, because it looks super cool, Sarge. We look like the hot twins from "The Matrix." We are getting aggravated.

Jake: So, Doug-
Doug Judy: Yes, Jake?
Jake: Now that we know the copycat is using your playbook, if you were still in the game which you're not, we all agree what would your next move be?
Doug Judy: It's fight night at Barclays. No sport attracts more ultra-wealthy people with super-nice cars than boxing.
Jake: Really? What about the sport of hunting man?
Doug Judy: You got me.
Sergeant Jeffords: That's not a thing.
Jake: Right.