Captain Holt: Interesting. I will attempt to co-operate with you under these new circumstances.
Madeline Wuntch: Don't sweet talk me, Holt.
Captain Holt: I gave it my best shot. Let's begin.

Madeline Wuntch: I'd like to hear Captain Holt's thoughts on a name.
Captain Holt: Very well. My thoughts are, who cares?
Madeline Wuntch: Give us a name, Raymond. Weigh on this. It's your job now.
Captain Holt: No.
Madeline Wuntch: A name. Petey or Paulie. Which is it?
Captain Holt: What does it matter? Why'd you even choose a pigeon any way? It's a terrible mascot.
Madeline Wuntch: Because they're a staple of New York. They're non-threatening and they're everywhere.
Captain Holt: They're carriers of disease, and they eat garbage.
Madeline Wuntch: Name the pigeon, Raymond!
Captain Holt: You can't make me.
Madeline Wuntch: I can make you and I will. Name the pigeon. That's an order!
Captain Holt: Paulie.

Captain Holt: I know you've been working on picking a name for the pigeon mascot for, whoo, several months now. I feel like you might need a breather. So, I've prepared an eight-point presentation on community engagement.
Madeline Wuntch: We'll get to your presentation, Raymond. It's on the agenda.
Captain Holt: It says here it's scheduled, quote, after everyone leaves, unquote.
Madeline Wuntch: And not a minute sooner.

Captain Holt: And since my arrival, violent crime has gone down by 17.3%, as you can see here.
Madeline Wuntch: Two-toned graphs? You think you can distract me from the precinct's problems with a flashy presentation? Same old Ray Holt. All sizzle, no steak.

Madeline Wuntch: Stay seated. We can do this out here, since you've already made yourselves comfortable. Sergeant Jeffords, why don't you just lie down?
Sergeant Jeffords: I can't sit any straighter than this.

Madeline Wuntch: This paperwork is a mess. A semicolon that should clearly be a full colon? Was this prepared by a recent immigrant?
Sergeant Jeffords: It's just one typo.
Madeline Wuntch: It's gibberish. Request denied.

Madeline Wuntch: Chief Fisker. Sergeant Jeffords. Raymond.
Captain Holt: Deputy chief Wuntch. I didn't realize you'd be attending.
Madeline Wuntch: I can tell. You have more of a fly-catching gape than usual.

Madeline Wuntch: It's Deputy Chief Wuntch now. Unsurprisingly, I've been promoted above you. And now I'm here to evaluate you.
Captain Holt: What happened to Brandt?
Madeline Wuntch: He retired and moved to Charleston to be closer to his grandchildren. So much for dying at your desk with a little dignity.

Madeline Wuntch: Very visual. When, oh when, will you quit police work and pursue your dream of poetry?

Madeline Wuntch: For meritorious service, the NYPD bestows this award on detectives Rosa Diaz, Jake Peralta, and Captain... Raymond Holt. Raymond.
Captain Holt: Madeline.
Madeline Wuntch: You won. Go ahead and gloat, you toad.

Captain Holt: You didn't want me to fail. You wanted me to succeed.
Madeline Wuntch: That's right. I was looking for an excuse to promote you to a desk job and you handed it to me on a silver platter with your little rat hands.
Captain Holt: Oh, no.
Madeline Wuntch: Say goodbye to the Nine-Nine, Raymond. I'm making you Head of NYPD Public Relations.