Sergeant Jeffords: What the hell happened out there, Patrick?
Patrick: I'm really sorry. There were so many people. I-I got stage fright.
Amy: I don't get it. You had no problem singing in front of the entire precinct.
Patrick: I was drunk. Alcohol gives me the courage to sing.
Rosa: And the courage to pee on snow people.

Rosa: Look, man, no one's ever gonna see that footage. The case was cut and dry. It's not like I'm dying to tell anyone I saw your-
Charles: Bennie and the Jets.
Rosa: Sure. Whatever.

Rosa: Adrian Pimento was very special for me. And now he's gone. And I'm starting to realize there's nothing I can do to bring him back. I guess life is gonna suck for a while.

Rosa: Congratulations on getting the record.
Sergeant Jeffords: What are you talking about? I came up short. Hitchcock beat me. What are all these?
Rosa: B&E I worked last year. You noticed a clue I missed. Arson I solved last summer. You gave me advice on how to break the guy in interrogation. Blackmail from '09. You said the nanny did it, and guess what, the nanny did it.
Sergeant Jeffords: I don't understand.
Rosa: You didn't just work your own cases. You helped me and Jake and Charles and Amy. There are hundreds of cases that wouldn't have been solved without you. You add all that up, that's a record nobody's ever gonna touch. Congratulations, Mr. Nine-Nine.
Sergeant Jeffords: Thanks, Diaz.

Amy: Hey, Rosa. Saw you hadn't signed up for the blood drive yet, so I brought you the sheet.
Rosa: Sorry, can't. (reading the sign-up sheet) I'm under 17 years old.

Amy: Wait, you didn't sign up last year, either. Or the year before. Are you afraid of needles?
Rosa: I don't like being stabbed by someone so they can steal my blood. I'm crazy.

Rosa: Or we could all give in to our fears and keep our blood in our bodies like normal people.

Rosa: How's he doing?
Amy: He's perfect. I see you changed.
Rosa: Oh yeah. That other outfit had a lot of afterbirth on it. Also during-birth and pre-birth. The point is I burned it.
Amy: Thanks for staying by my side. I know it wasn't easy for you.
Rosa: It was worth it. I'm Auntie Ro-Ro.
Charles: She gets to be Ro-Ro? Incredible. I've thrown seven years away for this.

Rosa: Oh, my God, this guy's got a pancake butt. It's not Pimento. Get out of there, Jake!

Rosa: By the way, I'm sorry that I didn't win you that stroller.
Amy: No, no, no, you were right. I don't need a Snoog. It's way too fancy. It is stupid.
Rosa: It's not stupid. I said you didn't need it because I already bought you a stroller for your shower this weekend, and it's just... isn't as fancy, and I felt bad.
Amy: Rosa, I would love any stroller you got me because it came from you.
Rosa: It's a Luftroller.
Amy: [pause] Oh, that is... That is a great stroller.
Rosa: I got you a gift receipt.
Amy: Thank you so much.

Rosa: Seriously, you guys should stand up once in a while. You know, for your hearts.

Amy: And secondly, it's a drinking game. Get a question wrong, do a shot. Oh, and the questions? They're all about Rosa.
Charles: But none of us know anything about Rosa.
Rosa: Everyone's about to get real hammered.

Rosa: [impersonating Holt eating a marshmallow] The sugar in this is quite sweet.

Captain Holt: I just assumed Diaz would be the prisoner. Nothing personal, it's just, you know she's terrifying.
Rosa: Thank you, Sir.

Rosa: Hey. Sorry I'm late. The coffee guy was-
Jake: Assaulting your head? What is going on up there?
Rosa: Is it bad?
Jake: Before I answer that question, do you currently have a knife on you?
Rosa: Yeah, several.
Jake: Then I love it. It really is hair. It's bad, Rosa. You look like Edna from "The Incredibles." I'm sorry, don't stab me.