Jake: I hate The Vulture so much!
Rosa: Me too. But he's kind of hot. What? You can hate people and still think they're hot. Case in point, Manuel Noriega.
Jake: You know what? I'm with you on this. Tonya Harding.
Rosa: Yeah, she's thick.

Charles: Don't forget, you're seven months pregnant. Your cervix is ripening as we speak.
Rosa: Mention my cervix again and I will rip your throat out.

Rosa: Where were you? This is chaos. Gina's been filing evidence by "perp hotness."

Rosa: There's nothing to be sad about. Pimento's gonna come back, we're gonna get married and we're gonna have sex on Figgis's grave just like we planned.
Sergeant Jeffords: Cool honeymoon.

Rosa: I'd also like to add the next person who hugs me gets their necks snapped.
Gina: And she's back.

Rosa: I can disable the security DVRs, but I need some way of getting to a station unnoticed.
Captain Holt: I have an idea on how to smuggle you in, but it'll be a tight fit.
Rosa: I'm flexible. I do a lot of yoga.
Jake: You do yoga?
Rosa: Helps keep me centered. If you ask me about it again, I'll hunt you down and rip your face off.
Jake: Okay. Great. Good plan. I won't ask you about it again.

Captain Holt: Good news. The doctors say Whelan's not gonna die.
Rosa: Thank God. I just hope he's in a lot of pain.

Captain Holt: Diaz, congratulations on moving on to the second round, said I, sarcastically.
Rosa: Oh, you're still in this. I knew a uniformed officer had been eliminated, I just couldn't remember which one.
Captain Holt: Okay, we're both great at insults. Let's move on. Tell me, why do you wanna win this game so badly?
Rosa: Honestly... I guess I still feel like my parents don't accept my sexuality. And winning this will let me prove to myself that as long as I feel good about who I am, that's all that matters.
Captain Holt: That's a load of dung. You processed that parent stuff a year ago.
Rosa: You're right, we're going to Drag Brunch this Sunday.

Captain Holt: But we have to let the investigation run its course. Right now, everyone's a suspect.
Rosa: Except for Hitchcock and Scully. Whoever did it took the stairs.

Rosa: Look, I wasn't gonna tell you this, but you should just do what I used to do - when I needed to escape you.
Amy: What did you do?
Rosa: Literally escape you. Always be on the move. Never be static. Like a shark. That way he can't catch your attention.
Gina: That's right! That is what we did.
Amy: Wait, you all did that?
Gina: Mm-hmm.
Amy: Okay, but Rosa, how did you ... Rosa? W-where did she- Damn, you guys are good. [Rosa and Gina are gone]

Captain Holt: An auditor will arrive shortly. He'll evaluate us on crime stats, physical plant, fiscal responsibility. There are 22 other precincts in Brooklyn, so we just don't want to rate at the bottom.
Rosa: Are they gonna be looking in our desks? Also, unrelated someone left a bunch of swords in my desk.

Jake: So are you seeing anyone now?
Rosa: Yeah. Her name's Tiffany.
Jake: Are you lying about her name so we won't look her up?
Rosa: Yes, I am. Next.

Rosa: No, I mean when I told everyone I was bi. Was it too touchy-feely?
Jake: Rosa, no. It was great. And don't worry, just because you opened up a little bit doesn't mean everyone's gonna be less afraid of you. We're all still terrified.
Rosa: Thanks, Jake.

Oscar Diaz: Mijita, when you called this dinner, you were so nervous, we were worried you were gonna tell us you were gay.
Rosa: So you would rather me be some dude's mistress than be in a loving relationship with a woman? Well, Jake and I aren't dating. But guess what? Your worst fears are real. I'm not straight. I'm bisexual. And I don't care what you think about it. Screw this. I'm outta here.

Rosa: This place smells like a squid farted inside a whale's butt.
Jake: Yes, that is the exact combo of smells. Nicely done.