Rosa: Ok, why are you barefoot?
Amy: I'm violating uniform conduct code 773 because the rules are pointless because they were written by a hoarder who doesn't care.
Scully: Same here. Fight the power.

Jake: So we did it.
Scully: I can't believe it's all wrapped up.
Jake: Do you even know what we did?
Scully: No. Just feeling out how close we were to calling it a day.
Jake: Soon, Scully.

Scully: Oh no, I sat in another pie.
Jake: Damn it! Next time, sit on a pie when we can enjoy it, Scully.

Scully: Hey guys, if you're running out, I'm just gonna take Hitchcock to the hospital.
Kylie: Is he okay?
Scully: He drank a lot during "Never Have I Ever". We're gonna get his stomach pumped, try to get ahead of this thing.

Scully: Sarge, I need to go to the bathroom.
Sergeant Jeffords: We just stopped for gas. I asked you if you had to go.
Scully: I didn't have to then.

Scully: Guys, seriously, too much exposure to air, and they will turn to dust.

Captain Holt: We got snacks, games, decorations, chairs-
Scully: Yes, chairs!

Rosa: We've made absolutely no progress. It took forever to bait the traps because Scully kept eating the peanut butter out of them.
Scully: You can't prove it was me, Rosa.

Jake: That's not true. Come on! What does Captain Holt always tell us? Be a good cop, do your job, things'll work out.
Scully: Yep, just this morning, I found this old bag on the street and it has a cupcake inside.
Jake: See? Scully found a garbage cake.

Scully: Hi, Cindy.
Cindy Shatz: Hey.
Scully: So guess what my eye and foot have in common?
Cindy Shatz: What?
Scully: Uh, I can't say. Well, bye.

Scully: Hey.
Cindy Shatz: Hey.
Scully: You wanna hear a joke?
Cindy Shatz: Okay.
Scully: I don't know any jokes. I should go.
Cindy Shatz: Oh, that's okay. I don't know any jokes either.
Scully: I slept in a body bag last night.

Scully: All right, two things. One, we're out of chips.
Jake: How?
Scully: You skimped us. And two, Amy left and asked me to give you this note. What's she say? She go out to get us more chips?
Jake: No, the practice test freaked her out. She's not taking the sergeant's exam. Damn it.
Scully: Damn it!

Scully: Shame.
Hitchcock: Shame, shame.
Sergeant Jeffords: What is happening?
Hitchcock: You guys messed up. You messed up big time!
Scully: And worst of all, you're standing here applauding yourselves for it. Shame.
Charles: Are you blind? This place looks amazing. It looks like a Swedish airport. Everyone's gonna love it.
Hitchcock: Just keep telling yourselves that. Shame.
Scully: Shame.

Rosa: Captain. Hey. What is going on in the kitchen? It's insanely packed.
Sergeant Jeffords: They're all just taking a break. Why is nobody breaking in the new break room?
Hitchcock: 'Cause it's a giant turd.
Scully: It's the worst. It's unusable. You guys don't even like it.

Charles: Okay, you're right about the break room.
Hitchcock: Nuh doy.
Sergeant Jeffords: Nobody liked it, and it wasn't functional.
Scully: Double nuh doy.