Scully Quotes Page 2 of 15

Searching Search quotes

Quote from the episode Windbreaker City

Scully: I really need that Gasinex. I think there was some dairy in the cheesecake that I ate for breakfast.

Quote from the episode Undercover

Scully: I accidentally smiled at you last week and you shined a laser pointer in to my eye and screamed "Perv!"

Quote from the episode Captain Kim

Jake: Oh, well, what a sweet and thoughtful moment, which would not have been possible without my meddling.
Scully: How dare you try to weasel out of this when the love of my life is splattered all over that room.
Jake: The chair?
Scully: Get her name out of your mouth.
Jake: Her name is the chair?
Scully: [aggressively] I warned you!

Quote from the episode Pimento

Hitchcock: I dogsat for Scully, and he never thanked me. Kelly was a real handful.
Sergeant Jeffords: Wait, I'm confused again. Kelly was a dog?
Scully: There were two Kellys. You'd know that if you'd ever listened to my podcast.

Quote from the episode NutriBoom

Jake: Pigeon's still here?
Scully: Yeah. No matter what we do, he just won't leave.
Jake: The problem is you're thinking like detectives.
Scully: No, I'm definitely not.

Quote from the episode Payback

Jake: If anything goes wrong, Scully fake a heart attack.
Scully: What are you thinking? Classic angina or something sexier like myocardial-infarction?
Jake: Just drop down onto the ground and wiggle.

Quote from the episode The Favor

Captain Holt: He only wants to use the block party as a cover for something criminal: a robbery, a murder, or something worse.
Jake: You don't know that for sure, and that's your loophole.
Captain Holt: I don't believe in loopholes.
Jake: What? Loopholes are the best. Remember that time when Pancake Palace had that all-you-can-eat deal, but they didn't set a time limit? I ate pancakes for a week for $3.99. All I had to do was sleep there and never shower.
Scully: What? Thanks for the invite, friend.

Quote from the episode Valloweaster

Charles: Why did you want Cheddar to swallow the gems?
Rosa: Because I needed to delay things. The second part of my plan took place on Valentine's Day, which went perfectly.
Jake: Ah, I wouldn't say perfectly. Scully swallowed the gems.
Rosa: 'Cause I tricked him into it. Wasn't hard. Pretty much used the same Cheddar ham playbook.
[flashback:]
Scully: Table ham. Seven days in a row.
[present:]
Scully: So now I have to think twice before I eat food I find lying around. Thanks a lot.

Quote from the episode The Party

Scully: I met my wife at an orgy. Well, she was leaving an orgy, and we bumped into each other on the street. Real meet cute.

Quote from the episode Windbreaker City

Agent Kendrick: What are your demands?
Jake: A guarantee that this drill doesn't end until one of us is dead.
Charles: Also, one large pizza with fennel sausage - brick oven, otherwise it's sog city. And Scully needs some Gasinex, extra strength.
Scully: Chewable!

Quote from the episode House Mouses

Sergeant Jeffords: Where's Hitchcock? I'm taking you guys off your drug case.
Scully: Of course you are. Jake said you didn't believe in us.
Sergeant Jeffords: What? He didn't believe in you either. He was just pumping you up with lies so you'd work his case.
Scully: Jake, is this true?
Jake I just thought, you know, the two of you might be better off mousing around the old house.
Scully: Oh, I get it. Just because I got my finger stuck in a glue trap once, I'm a mouse? I got the cheese out, by the way.
Jake: Oh my God.

Quote from the episode The Puzzle Master

Rosa: Okay, just seems a little selfish to keep it for yourself when your detectives, who you took an oath to protect, are stuck driving their crappy old cars.
Sergeant Jeffords: Mine's the oldest.
Scully: I've never felt so abandoned. And I was actually abandoned. They found me in a swamp.

Quote from the episode Lights Out

Amy: [groans, gasps] You made me a birthing suite?
Scully: We've been napping at work for 20 years. We know how to create a relaxing space in a police station.
Hitchcock: Gurney.
Scully: Fire blankets.
Hitchcock: Night stick for back massage.
Scully: Soothing lighting.
Hitchcock: AKA Scully's fart candles.
Rosa: I'm sorry I said you were worthless in an emergency. You two really came through.
Scully: It's just nice to have a win after what we went through today. So many deviled eggs were lost, and for what?
Hitchcock: Hey, hey, you can't focus on that. There were hundreds of meatballs that were eaten because of you!
Scully: I could've eaten more. Just one more!
Amy: Guys?
Hitchcock: Not now, Amy.

Quote from the episode Bachelor/ette Party

Gina: More importantly, why are you guys dressed like that? You look like you're on "Empire".
Scully: That's what we were going for. Drip drop.

Quote from the episode White Whale

Sergeant Jeffords: We don't have time for that! We need help. We need to hire a team.
Jake: I know, but there's no money in the budget. Unless maybe we could find people that were willing to work for something other than money. Hey, Hitchcock and Scully! How would you two like to earn some candy almonds?
Scully: You got our attention.

Showing quotes 16 to 30 of 215Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Submit Quotes