Sergeant Jeffords Quotes Page 29 of 37

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Quote from the episode NutriBoom

Amy: Ugh, guys. Gary is killing my productivity. Terry, how did you used to deal with having an Amy?
Sergeant Jeffords: I didn't have to do anything. You've always been great.
Amy: Cut the crap, Terry. I'm drowning.
Sergeant Jeffords: Fine. When you got too difficult to deal with, I'd pull rank.
Amy: Did that work?
Sergeant Jeffords: No. Not even once.
Amy: Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

Quote from the episode DFW

Sergeant Jeffords: Captain, if you wanted to be healthier, why not come to me? I'm ripped as hell.
Charles: Sarge, health is about flexibility and peace of mind and bone strength, not building vanity muscles.
Sergeant Jeffords: Vanity muscles? I use all of these.
Captain Holt: Really? Even the large neck ones?
Sergeant Jeffords: They help me sleep upright on airplanes!

Quote from the episode DFW

Sergeant Jeffords: Terry can do yoga. Terry is a yoga beast. Watch. Give me a yoga to do.
Charles: Ah, well, we're in warrior pose now, but I suppose for you we can start in child's pose.
Sergeant Jeffords: Terry is not a child! Terry is a warrior.

Quote from the episode DFW

Sergeant Jeffords: Time to go home. Oh, no. Terry can't move. Terry needs help.

Quote from the episode Bachelor/ette Party

Sergeant Jeffords: Sharon gave me permission to get wasted. She's even putting a pasta pot next to the bed in case I hurl.
Jake: Smart. I'm definitely putting a pasta pot on our wedding registry.

Quote from the episode Bachelor/ette Party

Sergeant Jeffords: Six hours? Joe, let us get in the limo, please! Terry's so hungry! No!

Quote from the episode Bachelor/ette Party

Jake: All right, I'm not saying I'm on board with this 'cause it's a little bit cruel, but hypothetically, if we were to cheat-
Sergeant Jeffords: Got it. I hacked his email. His password's really easy to guess.
Jake and Captain Holt: Dianne Wiest.

Quote from the episode Bachelor/ette Party

Jake: Oh, he's FaceTiming me, you guys. What do I do? He can't know we're at the restaurant. I need a neutral background.
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm a neutral background! I'm huge!
Jake: Yes. Genius.
Sergeant Jeffords: Let me put on my jacket. Okay.

Quote from the episode Bachelor/ette Party

Jake: All right. This is the boat. Now, Charles has to think we're totally sober and we solved his puzzle. So we good?
Sergeant Jeffords: Yep, I'm drunk as hell!
Jake: That's not what I asked.

Quote from the episode Bachelor/ette Party

Jake: Hey, you know why I didn't like your scavenger hunt?
Charles: 'Cause it was stupid and overcomplicated.
Sergeant Jeffords: And way too long.
Captain Holt: There was no food.
Sergeant Jeffords: Or drinks.
Jake: This is not a group conversation, guys.
Sergeant Jeffords: Well, you could have stood a little farther away from us then.

Quote from the episode Show Me Going

Sergeant Jeffords: What's up?
Captain Holt: I just wanted to check in to see if you were all right. I couldn't help but notice that you've flattened your mouse.
Sergeant Jeffords: Sorry. I get crushy when I'm nervous.

Quote from the episode Show Me Going

Captain Holt: If there's anything you want to talk about, please do so now.
Sergeant Jeffords: There is.I'm so scared for Rosa. And I realized, I haven't looked at my life insurance policy since Ava was born. I'm on hold with them now. Terry needs a bulkier plan!

Quote from the episode Show Me Going

Sergeant Jeffords: Great. Just do it fast. Terry knows tomorrow's not promised.

Quote from the episode Show Me Going

Andrew: Still too high.
Sergeant Jeffords: Okay. What if I cut myself? Just to let some of the blood out?

Quote from the episode Show Me Going

Andrew: I'm sorry, but I can't stay here all day. I have other things to do.
Sergeant Jeffords: You a traveling nurse, man. Don't big-time me.

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