Sergeant Jeffords: Two great ideas. Let's keep 'em coming.
Hitchcock: We could get one of those spot-the-difference arcade games with pictures of naked ladies.
Sergeant Jeffords: Tapped out at two.

Charles: And that is that.
Sergeant Jeffords: We have Shui'd the Feng out of this place.

Sergeant Jeffords: You two, up now! I'm taking away the thing you love most in the world. Sitting. You'll get your chairs back when you apologize to each other.

Sergeant Jeffords: We don't think you're pregnant. Sharon's pregnant. Uh, that's not true. God, I hope it's not true. What if Sharon's pregnant?

Rosa: Hey, Sarge, I have a problem, and I would ask Holt, but since he's not back-
Sergeant Jeffords: You came to Top Dog Terry. Smart move. I've been solving problems all day long. [barks]

Rosa: Okay, so you know that meth case I've been working on for the last two months? The Department of Sanitation police want to poach it from me, because the drugs were found in a dumpster. They're saying it's garbage-related.
Sergeant Jeffords: This is an easy one. Tell them to screw off. See? Problem solved. [barks]
Rosa: Yeah, well, I did that, and they threatened to make a formal complaint to the mayor.
Sergeant Jeffords: Then just let them have the case. Problem solved. [barks]
Rosa: Terry, I've been working on it for two months, and those dummies are gonna blow it.
Sergeant Jeffords: Right. Well, you could partner up with sanitation. Problem solved? Woof-woof?
Rosa: Nope. Headquarters won't allow it due to budgetary reasons.
Sergeant Jeffords: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Rosa: You know, Captain Holt was writing an instruction manual for his replacement in case he was named commissioner. Maybe he could tell you what to do.
Sergeant Jeffords: That's not necessary. Top Dog Terry can make a decision.
Rosa: And what would that be? Does Top Dog Terry want a moment to think about it?
Sergeant Jeffords: Woof-woof.

Rosa: Wow, Terry, put Captain Holt's computer back together? Looks great.
Sergeant Jeffords: Sure did. Couldn't find room inside for this stuff, though.

Sergeant Jeffords: Okay, so I just log onto the cloud as Captain Holt and click "forgot password" and answer his security questions. First up: What is God?

Rosa: Look at what it says.
Sergeant Jeffords: "Never use italics, lest people think you are a con-man or a clown." I'm not sure how this applies here.
Rosa: No, under that.
Sergeant Jeffords: "If you are unsure of what to do in any situation, consult Sergeant Jeffords. I trust him completely." Well, that's a kick in the butt.

Rosa: So what should I do, Sarge?
Sergeant Jeffords: Tell sanitation you'll work the case together. You're the primary, and HQ can take it out of the supplemental budget. I'll find the room.
Rosa: Cool. Top Dog Terry's back. [barks]
Sergeant Jeffords: [barks]

Amy: What the hell is this?
Sergeant Jeffords: The downstairs people keep making a mess of the microwave. One of them thought it was cool to heat up soup in an uncovered dish. That's just crazy!

Captain Holt: It's a crinkle. I solved it.
Sergeant Jeffords: Yes, but you have to know what object is making the crinkle.
Captain Holt: But that's impossible. It could be anything.
Sergeant Jeffords: Yes, sir. That's the game.

Captain Holt: Ooh, how goes the crinkle hunt? I see you're not just wasting time.
You're also wasting tin.
Sergeant Jeffords: It was only one piece. [Holt empties the trash can onto the table] Okay, it was a ton of tin.

Jake: Oh, my God. I know what's going on. Gina, you're having second thoughts. You have cold feet. I figured it out!
Charles: Jake for the win. There you go.
Sergeant Jeffords: Come on, man!

Gina: Hello, Nine-Nine. I just wanted to thank you guys. I was so nervous to move on and I even started to doubt myself, which is crazy. And your kind words really helped me, especially yours, Terry.
Sergeant Jeffords: Aww.
Gina: Psych! Did he fall f- Terry, did you fall for it? Anyway, Terry, that's your Gina Moment.
Sergeant Jeffords: Seriously? I've known her for seven years.
Gina: JK again. I'm really gonna miss you, Sarge. I signed you up for an international yogurt of the month club. Austria is in the fridge right now.
Sergeant Jeffords: Terry's never had Austrian yogurt before. Terry had the best moment of all.