Sergeant Jeffords Quotes Page 36 of 37

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Quote from the episode Captain Kim

Captain Julie Kim: Lieutenant, thanks for coming in.
Sergeant Jeffords: First off, do you have any questions for me? Just one. Why would someone with your pedigree choose the Nine-Nine?
Captain Julie Kim: Well, why did you choose to stay here as long as you have?
Sergeant Jeffords: This is my family second family. I have a wife and three kids at home.
Captain Julie Kim: Oh, please tell me you have pictures.
Sergeant Jeffords: I may have one or two... hard drives at my desk. Let me grab them real fast, okay?

Quote from the episode Captain Kim

Captain Julie Kim: Oh, Lieutenant, I want to introduce you to my old neighbor, John. He's the head of admissions at the Calder Academy in the Bronx.
Sergeant Jeffords: Calder? That's the best elementary school in the city. Their mock trial team gets hired to work real cases.

Quote from the episode Captain Kim

Sergeant Jeffords: Oh good, the food. I'm starving.
Ronald Palmer: Hello, Detective Jeffords.
Sergeant Jeffords: Do I know you?
Ronald Palmer: Ronald Palmer. You arrested me ten years ago. You testified at my trial.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, hey. What have you been up to?
Both: Prison.
Sergeant Jeffords: Prison, yeah. I shouldn't have asked.
Ronald Palmer: I spent ten long years thinking about what I would do if I ever saw you again. Lettuce cup? Oh, do you think I'm trying to poison you? Am I always gonna be a criminal in your eyes even though I've served my time?
Sergeant Jeffords: No, no, no. I'm just not hungry right now.
John Thereford: Oh, you said you were starving.
Sergeant Jeffords: Yes, John. Thanks for reminding me, John.

Quote from the episode Captain Kim

John Thereford: Of course, at Calder we're not just looking for good students. We want compassionate members of the community.
Sergeant Jeffords: Great. Terry has a passion for compassion.
Ronald Palmer: Turkey pinwheel?
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, you're back again. You seem to working this one spot a lot.
Ronald Palmer: Well, we're old friends, remember? I'll ask again, turkey pinwheel?
Sergeant Jeffords: Why is there just one?
Ronald Palmer: I made it special for you.
Sergeant Jeffords: How is it special?
Ronald Palmer: There's a little something extra in it. Wait, are you still suspicious of me? You don't think I deserve a second chance?
John Thereford: Impossible. Lieutenant Jeffords has a passion for compassion.
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah, you're right. You know what? I will take this pinwheel. Mmm, delicious.

Quote from the episode Pimento

Sergeant Jeffords: Look, it's mandatory, it's not up for debate, but we'll get through it 'cause we're the best squad in the city with the nicest hair, the kindest eyes.
Captain Holt: He's buttering us up again, so more bad news is coming.
Sergeant Jeffords: HR said they're sending a funny guy.
All: No!

Quote from the episode Trying

Sergeant Jeffords: I called my friend at the lab. He's gonna take the guinea pigs. They're not gonna do any chemical tests on them. They're just gonna teach them how to run mazes.
Charles: Really? I want you to look Claire 38 in the eye, and tell her that-
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm sending you to a lab, Claire. Bye!
Charles: You can't do this!
Rosa: This is so unfair, Terry!
Charles: You're a cruel man!
Rosa: Thank God he found a way to end it.
Charles: Oh, it's over. The nightmare's over.

Quote from the episode The Takeback

Captain Holt: But, uh... no matter. Just glad to be here. [chuckles] I am a captain again. Back where I belong. Everything is perfect. Wow. There's absolutely nothing that could puncture my... Where's the business card?
Sergeant Jeffords: What?
Captain Holt: The business card that was right here. It had a piece of gum on it. It's very important to me. You didn't throw it away, did you?
Sergeant Jeffords: [scoffs] No, Terry would never throw away something that looked exactly like trash.
Captain Holt: Good. I'll be back in half an hour. Make sure it's on my desk by then.
Sergeant Jeffords: Will do, sir. I got it. I'm on it. [to Rosa] I definitely threw it away.

Quote from the episode The Takeback

Rosa: Welcome back, Captain Holt. I'm really glad we could help you with this.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, no, you're not gonna just jump back in here now that it all worked out!
Captain Holt: Thank you, Diaz.
Sergeant Jeffords: No! No, thank Terry. I did this! Oh, I'm done. You know what, I did all of this. This was all me! This is ridiculous!

Quote from the episode Dillman

Amy: Sorry you missed your daughter's concert.
Sergeant Jeffords: No, no, it's okay. Sharon totally understood. After I lied to her and said we had to stay late because Rosa got shot. Next time you see her, walk with a limp.
Rosa: Copy that.

Quote from the episode Valloweaster

Jake: Terry?
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm out. Terry is retiring from heisting. I don't have anything left to prove after my win last year.
Jake: But we need you. What if one of us has a plan that involves a big, strong brute?
Sergeant Jeffords: Not a great sales pitch, Jake. Terry is going out on top.

Quote from the episode Valloweaster

Amy: Maybe it was Terry who sent the flowers!
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah, I really wanted to spend $2,000 on Valentine's Day not for my wife.
Charles: Ah, he admitted it!

Quote from the episode Ransom

Sergeant Jeffords: Come on, Terry. You can pick up that paper. [strained groan] No, forget it. It's only a first offence.
Charles: Is everything okay, Lieutenant? You've been groaning all morning.
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm sore from my workout. My muscles hurt so bad. Look. [flexes his pecs] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Quote from the episode Ransom

Sergeant Jeffords: Not only is it delicious, it's high in amino acids, and low in sodium.
Charles: Well, not exactly low in sodium. It definitely has salt in it.
Sergeant Jeffords: Not in the batch I made. I left it out. Terry doesn't like to get all bloaty.
Charles: You left out the salt? That stops the fermentation. The salt keeps it stable.
[glass explodes]
Charles: Oh, ah!
Kenneth: God, what is happening?
Charles: They're all gonna blow!
Sergeant Jeffords: Take cover! [glass explodes] So, uh, do we have a deal? [glass explodes, all scream]

Quote from the episode Lights Out

Sergeant Jeffords: Okay, calm down, I have an idea. When my parents would fight and my dad got scary, I would take my little brother upstairs and to distract him, I'd teach him dance moves.
Captain Holt: What kind of dance moves?
Sergeant Jeffords: Mostly '80s hip-hop. He loved Salt-N-Pepa.
Captain Holt: No, I won't be doing that. [elevator rumbles] Salt and pepper, you say?

Quote from the episode Balancing

Amy: Oh, crap, there's Austin.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, damn, he is a "hud."

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