Amy: Maybe you hurt Veronica's feelings without meaning to?
Sergeant Jeffords: Nope. I planned the perfect breakup. We got dinner at a mid-range restaurant nice enough to show I care, but not so nice she thought a proposal was coming. I even got her a classy breakup present, plus a gift receipt, in case she wanted to exchange it. And I said just the right words.
[cut to:]
Sergeant Jeffords: You deserve the world. You deserve someone that can make you happy and it is the greatest displeasure of my life that I cannot be that man.
Veronica Hopkins: Thank you, Terrence.
(CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS)

Sergeant Jeffords: Here's my desk. You can tell by the framed two-hundred piece puzzle my three-year-olds put together on their own.
School Administrator: That's very advanced, Sergeant Jeffords.
Sergeant Jeffords: Is it? I wouldn't know what milestones are impressive to a school's admissions officer. They can count to twenty in English and Mandarin.

Jake: Look guys, if the Sarge wants to chop off his penis, then it's his choice.
Sergeant Jeffords: That's not what a vasectomy is.

Sergeant Jeffords: Hey! Cut it out, Cake Boy, you're making health insurance more expensive for everyone else.

Gina: I know who your leak is. What? I looked up the reporter who published the crime numbers, and I noticed you two follow each other online.
Sergeant Jeffords: He followed me, and you know I'm a proud member of team follow-back.

Dozer-pad: You are forty-three minutes behind.
Sergeant Jeffords: I know! Get off my back, computer ghost!

Sergeant Jeffords: Case cleared. How you like me now, sucker? I mean, I hope you found peace.

Sergeant Jeffords: Okay guys, I know Captain Dozerman was a nightmare and that none of us liked him, but I'm gonna need all of you to pretend like you're sad.
Everyone make a sad face.
Scully, you are nailing it!
Scully: My wife just texted. She's leaving me.
Sergeant Jeffords: Good. Use it.

Jake: I have so many plans and supplies. I even have a victory banner that unfurls with a voice command. I can't say what, but it's so cool.
Sergeant Jeffords: I thought this was a spur-of-the-moment fun way to distract me from freaking out about my exam.
Jake: Well, it wasn't exactly hard to predict, Sarge. Your catchphrase is "Terry hates tests."
Sergeant Jeffords: It's true. Terry hates tests.

Jake: Captain, allow me to introduce you to major East Coast arms dealer Dan "Daniel" Valdano. That's right, his nickname is longer than his actual name. Why's that, Terry?
Sergeant Jeffords: 'Cause he's a dick.

Sergeant Jeffords: Can I be honest? Precinct's not the same without you. The Vulture's the worst. My mango yogurt-
Captain Holt: Yes, you already mentioned the yogurt.
Sergeant Jeffords: 'Cause it's important!

Sergeant Jeffords: Pumping hard or hardly pumping, Gina?

Scully: Sure, I'll watch Mac. Don't worry, I've padded all the sharp edges in here.
Jake: Wow. You already baby-proofed it?
Scully: Ah, it's my nap room. You can take a nap anywhere in here. Every surface is like a bed.
Both: Huh.
Jake: Works for us.

Sergeant Jeffords: Rosa, you got any ideas?
Rosa: Hitchcock and Scully just set fire to the kitchen sink.
Scully: Oh, boy.
Hitchcock: Ooh, boy.
Sergeant Jeffords: Perfect! Let's use that.

Jake: Hey, were you followed?
Sergeant Jeffords: Nope. I promise, they have no idea I'm working with you.
[flashback:]
Charles: Terry, have you seen Jake?
Sergeant Jeffords: Uh, no. That idiot's probably off working his dumb plan. He's so stupid. You know, the only reason Holt and I haven't fired him is that we're worried that he'll kill himself.
[present:]
Jake: Seems a little excessive.
Sergeant Jeffords: I told you. I don't wanna be tied to this plan. Look, I'm out on a ledge for you, and Terry hates ledges.
Jake: Wait, so you love hedges but hate ledges? You're just making this up as you go.
Sergeant Jeffords: No, I'm not. Name one time you've ever seen me happy out on a ledge.
Jake: I can't think of an example on the spot...
Sergeant Jeffords: Because Terry hates ledges.