Jake: Like I said, Sal's is an institution, and it's the best pizza in the neighborhood.
Charles: I'm sorry, Jake. Sal's is only the 8th best. I've put out a weekly Brooklyn pizza ranking e-mail blast. Sal's has the 4th best texture, 9th best crust, 12th best cheese, and honestly, they're only 7th in mouth feel.
Jake: Mouth feel? What is that?
Charles: The inside of your cheeks are very sensitive. It's like the inside of your thighs except with a tongue.