Jake: Why are you acting this way?
Charles: 'Cause I made a promise to my son. You can't understand 'cause you're not a father. You never will be.
Jake: Hey, yes, I will!
Charles: When, Jake? We're all waiting.
Jake: What are we even arguing about now?
Charles: It's about me saving Christmas, duh. Oh, damn it, my pants are snagged.
Jake: Ha-hah! Now you have to wait for backup.
Charles: No, I don't. I'm gonna shimmy them off.
Jake: Oh, God, the eye contact is the worst part.
Charles: Ah. I told you, Jake. I'll do anything to perk up my little man.
Jake: You gotta know how gross that sounds in your underwear.