Gina: Hey, Craptain, you ready to get curb stomped?
Sergeant Jeffords: What?
Gina: At chess.
Captain Holt: We have a weekly match. I'm teaching Gina to play. And she, in turn, is teaching me to trash talk. The hospital called. Your test results came back positive. You're a stage five dumbass.
Gina: Oh! You have come so far.

Amy: Burn the book I made you?
Gina: Yes. It's the only way to cleanse your childish sentimentality and become the true you, the one that's really Rosa.
Amy: Okay. Sure. I mean, it does include a very personal forward I wrote and $75 of my best archival glue, but yeah, this feels good.

Gina: I never have second thoughts. That's the luxury of having great first thoughts.

Sergeant Jeffords: This is crazy. I can't imagine the Nine-Nine without you.
Gina: Don't worry. I have a parting gift for all of you. I printed "Time for Gina's Opinion" hoodies for you with your names on them. Oh, there you go.
Jake: Oh, that's fun. So like "Time for Jake's Opinion"?
Gina: What are you, insane? No. It says "Time for Gina's Opinion" in large text on the back and then your names are stitched really tiny on the front.
Jake: Ah.
Gina: I had to guess at some of the spellings.
Amy: Arnie?

Hitchcock: Hey. Never seen you burning stuff at the bum barrel before. Right on.
Rosa: What was in there, Hitchcock?
Hitchcock: Eh, eh, eh. First rule of the bum barrel: never ask somebody what they're burning.

Gina: All right Amy, it's time. Put the book in the barrel. Let's go.
Amy: No! I can't do it.
Gina: What? I thought you wanted us to change you.
Amy: I thought I did too, but I don't. I like having emotions, okay? This is who I am. You're leaving and that's a really big change and I'm gonna cry about it a lot, okay?
Gina: And there it is. Another flawless Gina Moment.
Amy: What? What's going on?
Gina: Amy, the lesson I wanted to leave you with is to just be yourself. If you want to cry like an idiot for hours on end, just do it. You wanna make a big old ugly book full of all my brilliant thoughts, do it. Do you!

Rosa: Oh, wow. That was really, really sweet.
Gina: Oh, dip! I got Rosa to feel her feelings too? Inadvertent Gina Moment. Two for one. Come in, my babies. Come in.

Gina: But I do know the names. I've simply rebranded them. My queen is Rihanna.
My king is Beyonce. And this little guy is Kevin. Would you be willing to murder Kevin, the love of your life?
Captain Holt: Yes. Chess Kevin means nothing to me.

Amy: Well, I was thinking we could have a ladies lunch today.
Gina: Amy, I wish I could do lunch today, but I'm currently out of town.

Captain Holt: It was a good game though for a dumbass.
Gina: Okay, you're kinda overusing that one. Maybe switch it up a little bit.
Captain Holt: Oh, good note. You dick.
Gina: That landed good.

Captain Holt: Even the best laid plans sometimes don't work out.
Gina: They sure don't. And now it's time for Gina's closing thoughts. Just because you wanna do something doesn't mean you get to do it. Life is chaos, success is completely arbitrary, and confidence is everything.

Captain Holt: So what's your plan? Not with chess, with your life moving forward.
Gina: I mean, I could do basically anything. I could come up with a new form of cryptocurrency called GinaCoin, make millions. Could write a YA novel about literally anything, I think, and make millions. I could discover a new type of melon, make millions.

Rosa: Gina, since you're leaving, I'd like to make a toast. Bye.
Gina: Oh, my God. That was perfect.

Captain Holt: Quote: "The bird that leaves the nest too soon plummets to its death on the concrete below." Captain Raymond Holt, immediately afterwards.

Gina: Charles, weirdly, you're kind of the person I'm the closest to here. Don't say why.
Charles: Because I was your brother and your lover? Sorry, I can't control my tongue around you.
Gina: All right, well, here.
Charles: The Boyle family mother dough starter! I'll think of you every time I handle her.
Gina: Oh, man. You know, I never really understood the logic behind the two of us. But I love you and I'm gonna miss you.
Charles: I'm gonna miss you too, Gina.

Gina: Anyway, I didn't doubt myself for one second. I'm more confident than I've ever been. I was only stalling because there was a shipping delay with my golden statue.
Jake: Ah, that makes sense.
Gina: And even though she looks like she has wet hair and just combed through a deep conditioning treatment, and even though her jeans look cheap and even though she has sausage fingers, I hope it reminds you of me, and I'm gonna miss you. I'll hold now for a five minute applause break. Do it! Please. [everyone claps] Thank you, thank you. Thank you.
Jake: This feels right.
Gina: I love you guys.

Theo Lorql: I'm sorry, sir. If you could just give me a name, that would be great.
Gina: I'll give you a name: Pamplemouse La Croix.
Theo Lorql: I'm so sorry, Ms. La Croix, you're not in the system.
Jake: This is ridiculous. You know what? Call Daddy. Daddy'll get us in.
Gina: Daddy, the man won't let us into the club.
Jake: Oh, ho, ho.
Gina: Yes, Daddy. No, Daddy, no. Daddy wants to speak with you.
Jake: Gladly. Hello, Daddy? Yes, Daddy. No, Daddy. Daddy! Oh, well, good question, Daddy. Daddy wants to get this young man fired. What is your first and last name?
Theo Lorql: Uh... You know what, forget about it. You can just go on up.
Jake: Fantastic. Everything's well, Daddy. We're heading in, Daddy.

Jake: Hey, does anyone have a contact at Ellis Island?
Sergeant Jeffords: Ellis Island? What's going on?
Jake: I'm trying to secure a cool venue for Gina's going away party, Gina-rama.
Hitchcock: Oh, that invitation said "Geena-rama" not "Gyna-rama." I thought it was weird they'd move Gyna-rama from Tampa. It's really a warm weather event.

Theo Lorql: Good afternoon. May I help you?
Jake: We're here all the time. Get familiar with these faces, or get familiar with the unemployment line.
Theo Lorql: I'm so sorry, but I have to check you in. I need a member number.
Jake: I don't have my member number with me. It's too bad you can't just use my AmEx black card.
Theo Lorql: Oh, that's great. We can use that.
Jake: You can? Well. You think I carry around my own wallet? [Jake and Gina laugh]

Jake: So what do we say?
Gina: Well, whilst stars hate people, they love animals. 'Cause animals have bad bodies so they're no competition.
Jake: Okay, so we say the party is for monkeys.
Gina: Monkeys with malaria.
Jake: Malnourished malaria monkeys.
Gina: God, it's ridiculous how good we are at this. Let's go in.
Jake: Wait, I don't think there's any way we're getting past those security guards. We need a distraction. Ooh, how about this. I'll sprint past them, and whilst they're chasing after me, you sneak into the VIP.
Gina: Wow, we said "whilst" twice in this conversation.
Jake: I know, this place is really rubbing off on us. [Jake and Gina laugh in a haughty manner]

Jake: Anyways, he's hanging out at the Manhattan Club right now. We can go there and try and talk to him.
Gina: Jake, you can't just walk into the Manhattan Club. It's very exclusive.
Jake: Like, how exclusive are we talking here, Gines? No jeans?
Gina: More.
Jake: No poor people of any kind no matter how well they hide it?
Gina: More.
Jake: Just a tiny slice of the super rich?
Gina: More.
Jake: Is it all Illuminati? Is it just a whole room full of lizards?
Gina: Bingo.
Jake: Well, then I guess we'll have to transform ourselves. Into the uber wealthy.

Charles: I know what you need. An insane devil stick performance. I have a brand-new routine that is steamy.
Jake: Boyle, we're looking for splashy, not steamy, but thank you.
Charles: Well, steam is what you get when you add splash to fire.
Jake: And we will not keep you in mind.

Jake: Heads up! Catch me if you did! You immediately did! Stop it! I'm telling Daddy! Daddy!

Gina: Wait, I'm confused. Did the Met fall through?
Jake: That place is stuffy and lame. And also, it's $12 million. But the point is, I decided. It was my call.
Sergeant Jeffords: Just have it at Shaw's. It doesn't have to be splashy.
Jake: It's a party for Gina. It absolutely has to be splashy, Terrence.
Gina: Terrence, would you jump into a pool without water? No, the splash is what keeps you alive. Splash is life.

Mario Lopez: Hey, is this the hungry monkey thing?
Jake: It sure is, A.C. Slater! I'm so sorry, Mr. Lopez. I know you're not actually the very iconic character that you played.
Mario Lopez: You sure about that, preppy?
Jake: This is the best moment of my life.

Sergeant Jeffords: What are you doing here, Gina?
Charles: Are you back? Did my begging change your mind?

Gina: No, I wanted to make sure Holt was familiar with my filing system. I didn't want to leave him in the dark.
Captain Holt: There are no dividers. It's just a big pile of loose papers.
Gina: Okay, yeah, you get it.

Gina: Yeah, sure, I mean, we'll go to lunch with you. Why not?
Amy: Okay, okay, cool. Just before we go, I'm gonna go to go the bathroom for a bit. Not to cry about you leaving. But just to take a huge dump. So if you hear any crying from the bathroom. Not about you. It's the dump. Okay?

Gina: But that's not all. Over the next two weeks, I will be leaving each of you with a signature Gina Moment, something so shocking that it will stay with you for the rest of your lives, much like this interpretive dance piece, entitled, "The Linexit." This dance will be performed in four movements, each one expressing one aspect of my personality.
[Gina begins to dance]
Jake: Oh. Awesome. Was that the first movement?
Gina: What? Are you crazy? No. That's the warm-up. Each movement is 45 minutes.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, damn.
Gina: Hit it!

Sergeant Jeffords: Well, good luck. I'm rooting for you, Gina.
Captain Holt: You would take the losers side, Jeffords, you bitch. Trash talk.
Sergeant Jeffords: Okay. I don't like this, I'm gonna go.

Gina: Mkay, my move?
Captain Holt: Ah, whites go first.
Gina: Oh, chess really is like life. Commentary. The game you love is racist and you're complicit.

Captain Holt: I'm not saying your dreams are unattainable. But you can pursue them while you're still gainfully employed here at the Nine-Nine. What's the rush to turn your back on stability and a paycheck?
Gina: I don't want stability and a paycheck. I wanna take a risk. Quote: "A bird can never learn to fly if it doesn't leave the nest." End quote. Gina Linetti, right now.

Gina: Nothing bad ever happens to me. I have a crystal in my pocket at all times.
Captain Holt: What about when you got hit by that bus?
Gina: That bus was going 60 miles per hour and here I sit before you completely fine. And you wanna say crystals don't work?

Amy: What are you two up to?
Gina: Eh, I'm on my phone and Rosa's just sitting there silently. The "yewzh".

Amy: Gina, I got a little going away present for you. Don't worry. It's nothing big.
Gina: Oh, my goodness. Wow.
Amy: You once said if you ever die, you wanted someone to turn your tweets into a book, so that's what I did.
Gina: Oh, my God. I said so many witty things so fast.
Amy: Yeah.
Gina: Amy, I don't know what to say. This is horrifying.
Amy: What?
Gina: This is way worse than crying. I mean, you put so much work into this. I'm completely uncomfortable. It makes me- Kinda makes me sick.

Mario Lopez: So what's up? Can I, uh, come in and get a drink?
Gina: Mm, actually, I'm sorry, the venue's at capacity. There's just too many people inside.
Jake: What?
Mario Lopez: Wait, I was told that this event depended on me. You just begged me, like, an hour ago.
Gina: And now I'm begging you to stop embarrassing yourself 'cause it's not a good shade on you.
Mario Lopez: Are you really not gonna let me in?
Gina: There's nothing I can do, I'm sor- Hey, Scully.
Scully: Hi, Gina. I brought my own pigs in a blanket!
Gina: Dope.
Mario Lopez: Who's that guy?
Gina: Scully. Mario, you gotta calm down. And you gotta walk away. It's over.

Gina: Oh! Oh, Sheila, that was awesome. Okay, just stay here. Wow, can't believe I executed that to perfection.
Scully: That was amazing.

Gina: Hello, Nine-Nine. I just wanted to thank you guys. I was so nervous to move on and I even started to doubt myself, which is crazy. And your kind words really helped me, especially yours, Terry.
Sergeant Jeffords: Aww.
Gina: Psych! Did he fall f- Terry, did you fall for it? Anyway, Terry, that's your Gina Moment.
Sergeant Jeffords: Seriously? I've known her for seven years.
Gina: JK again. I'm really gonna miss you, Sarge. I signed you up for an international yogurt of the month club. Austria is in the fridge right now.
Sergeant Jeffords: Terry's never had Austrian yogurt before. Terry had the best moment of all.

Captain Holt: And we all know she'll succeed at whatever she tries.
Hitchcock: I feel like this is all my fault. She's staying for me. She just can't let go.
Jake: Hitchcock, you don't have to contribute.

Jake: I think we need to all get on the same page for what do to about this Gina situation.
Charles: Well, we should tell her we believe in her.
Jake: Good point, Chorles.

Sergeant Jeffords: Gina, it's okay. You're scared.
Jake: Tare-bear, I love you, but don't try and hop on my thing, okay?

Captain Holt: Gina, what's this all about?
Gina: I wanted to make one final grand entrance.
Charles: Final? What do you mean?
Gina: I've decided to leave the Nine-Nine. Which is why- [music starts, dancers emerge]
Jake: Oh, okay.
Gina: I'm handing in my two weeks' notice. [a dancer hands Captain Holt a piece of paper]

Jake: Oh, my God. I know what's going on. Gina, you're having second thoughts. You have cold feet. I figured it out!
Charles: Jake for the win. There you go.
Sergeant Jeffords: Come on, man!

Rosa: She's definitely still gonna be here.
Charles: No way. She's gone. Hah! Look! Her desk, I told you, it's empty.
Sergeant Jeffords: She's right over there burning stuff.
Gina: I'm just sage-ing. Trying to clear this place of my energy.
Charles: Why?
Sergeant Jeffords: Cold feet.
Gina: No. No one's paying me for my vibes anymore. I'm not trying to give 'em away for free.

Captain Holt: I don't understand. What are you gonna do?
Gina: I'm not sure, but Jake convinced me it was time to start a new chapter. It was time to spread my wings and fly. [dancers lift Gina up] I'm an angel. I'm an angel. I'm an angel.

Gina: All right, here's what's gonna happen. Amy Santiago, as my parting gift to you, before I leave your life forever We'll still see each other outside of work. Before I leave your life forever, I'm gonna fix you. I'm gonna teach you how to be more cool and detached like me and Rosa.
Rosa: What's going on?
Amy: But we could still go to lunch, right? I mean or not. Whatevs.

Mario Lopez: Hey, um, it's raining outside. Is it cool if I just wait here until my car comes?
Jake: Get out of here, Slater! Get out!

Gina: Plus, it's so cool that I got to turn a celebrity away from my party. That was kinda my Gina Moment for me. I've always wanted to do that.

Jake: Hey, Gina! What are you doing? We had A.C. Slater right there and you turned him away?
Gina: And that, Jake, was your Gina Moment.
Jake: What? But that sucked. Why was mine a bad one?
Gina: Because Jake, I wanted you to understand I don't need a celebrity or some crazy venue or a huge good-bye party. This is what I wanted. Just to hang with my friends and have a few drinks and laugh at Charles with his devil sticks until he makes eye contact- You're killing it, bud! You guys are all the splash that I need.

Amy: Oh, come on. I wanna hang out one last time before you before you leave us. You're really special, Gina, and even though- I'm sorry. I just get so emotional about these things, you know? I wish I could be more like Rosa.
Rosa: Huh? I got bored. What's going on?

Captain Holt: Really good. I don't know why you're so confident you'll win. You still don't even know the names of all the pieces. You dumbass.
Gina: Nice.

Gina: You okay?
Jake: Yeah, I'm totally fine. It really wasn't that bad of a beating. I don't know why I'm lying. You were there. You held me as I wept.

Captain Holt: Gina, have you thought this through? Have you considered the ramifications of what you're doing?
Gina: Yeah, I mean, I named this guy Hitchcock and now I kind of want him off the board.

Amy: See? She doesn't even give a damn. I wish I could do that. Then I would cry less at the bank. It's just there's this one poster of this older Asian man opening up a savings account for his grandson.

Gina: That's so dope, but we don't have time. Mario Lopez is right there in the VIP.
Jake: So, how do we get him to come to your party? Say we're his biggest fans?
Gina: No, Jake. Celebrities despise their fans. You get into entertainment to be removed from general society.

Jake: Gina, the bathrooms here are amazing. I just peed on gold. I peed on gold!

Hitchcock: Sorry to interrupt, ladies, but you might want to take a couple of steps back. This is not going to smell good.
Gina: Un-hug! Un-hug!
Amy: Ugh!

Captain Holt: All right, Jeffords, what's this meeting all about? I've got a full workload today.
Sergeant Jeffords: I didn't call it. I thought you did.
Captain Holt: What? I did no such thing.
Rosa: So if neither of you called it, then who did?
[sound effects begin]
All: Gina. Right.

Jake: Okay, we're about to walk into the land of money. Remember, all rich people are monsters, so unleash the beast.

Captain Holt: I was just worried. But I guess after working with you for five years, I should've realized. You know what you're doing.
Gina: Thanks, Captain.
Captain Holt: Have you thought this through?
Gina: Not at all. And yet, checkmate.
Captain Holt: That was completely illegal. That's not at all how the queen moves.
Gina: That's how this queen moves. Checkmate.
Captain Holt: It's against the rules of chess.
Gina: Well, Gina Linetti done reinvented the game.
Captain Holt: Uh, I'm supporting your overall career decision, I'm on board, but you can't assign-
Gina: I won both things. Chess and the argument. This little birdie, she gotta fly the coop. I'm taking this with me as a little remembrance, Sir. Ca-caw! Ca-caw! Ca-caw!

Jake: Gina, big news. Terry's friend got back to us and he says they're doing security for Bayside High's number one wrestler: A.C. Slater. That's right, Mario Lopez.
Gina: Oh, my God. I had such a big crush on him.
Jake: Yeah, we all had a big crush on A.C. Slater. Get in line! [laughs] I'll be cooler when we meet him.
Gina: I should hope so.

Sergeant Jeffords: I have a buddy who works in private security. They do protection for tons of big names. He'll know who's in town.
Jake: Fantastic. Please call him right now.
Hitchcock: No need. Leroy Pipe is in! All he needs is bail money.
Jake: Great. But also, Terry, you still call your guy.

Hitchcock: If you want a celebrity, I met Leroy Pipe at Gyna-rama '08.

Jake: Hey, that reminds me, Gina, we still haven't secured a celebrity guest for the party. How would you feel about the guy who shot that video of that rat smoking a vape pen?
Gina: Can we get the rat?
Jake: Pretty sure the rat is just a big ball of tumors at this point. Is that the vibe you're going for?
Gina: Maybe.