Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 10050

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Return of the King

Captain Holt: Wait. Why is he writing the solution to my formula for no reason? And why is he drawing colorful underpants beneath it?
Charles: Oh, I see what's happening. He's drawing Boy Riga, loyal sidekick to his favorite cool superhero, Captain Latvia.
Nikolaj: That's his symbol. He distributes grain evenly among the working class.
Captain Holt: Uh-huh. I see. So this was all just some coincidence. He wasn't writing absolute value of psi. He was just doodling.

 Captain Holt Quotes

Quote from the episode Ding Dong

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]

Quote from the episode Payback

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Quote from the episode The Box

Jake: We have a few more questions for you, doctor.
Captain Holt: Doctor. Huh. It's funny when people call dentists "doctor".
Philip Davidson: We are doctors. We do four years of medical school.
Captain Holt: Yeah, but it's called "dental school".
Philip Davidson: But we learn about the entire body.
Captain Holt: But if you had cancer, you wouldn't call a dentist.
Philip Davidson: You know it's actually harder to get into dental school than medical school.
Captain Holt: Well, because there are fewer dental schools. Because most people want to become actual doctors.
Philip Davidson: That's ridiculous. It's not like we're college professors calling ourselves "doctors".
Captain Holt: Not the same thing, my friend.
Philip Davidson: Well, sure it is. When someone has a heart attack on a plane, do they yell out, "Yo, does anybody here have an Art History PhD?"
Captain Holt: A PhD is a doctorate. It's literally describing a doctor.
Jake: Maybe let's refocus.
Captain Holt: No! The problem here is that medical practitioners have co-opted the word "doctor".
Jake: Okay, Captain-
Captain Holt: I know we live in a world where anything can mean anything, and nobody even cares about etymolo-
[cut to outside, Holt downing a glass of water]
Captain Holt: Apparently that's a trigger for me.
Jake: Yeah, apparently.

 ‘Return of the King’ Quotes

Quote from Rosa

Amy: Rosa? Are you stuck in there?
Rosa: No, I'm in here by choice.
Amy: Oh, 'cause I hear some banging noises as if someone was struggling to open the door.
Rosa: No. That was the pipes.
Amy: Or, is it the sound of you learning how to ask for help? You know, you can't spell "independent" without "dependent."
Rosa: And you can't spell "Go [bleep] yourself" without "[bleep] you."

Quote from Gina

Gina: Timothée Chalamet, shimmy-yah, shimmy-yay. Timothée Chalamet, shimmy-yah, shimmy-yay.
Jake: Gina?
Gina: Sorry, I'm doing my vocal warm-up.

Quote from Captain Holt

Charles: Nikolaj had a half-day at school for Mariano Rivera's birthday. I'm watching him on my lunch break. Nikolaj, say "hi" to Captain Holt.
Nikolaj: Hi, Captain Holt! How's Mr. Kevin?
Captain Holt: Stressed. His annual budget review is today, and a recent change in federal policy means his grant situation is tenuous. At best.
Nikolaj: Okay.

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