Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 10121

Quote from Charles in the episode Cinco De Mayo

Jake: Okay, this is official getting hard to track. Who has the bracelet now?
Captain Holt: Santiago.
Amy: Yeah. And no of you are getting it.
Jake: We'll see about that.
Amy: [TASER CRACKLING] [GROANS] What the hell?
Jake: Remember that very fancy Swiss pen I got you for Christmas, the one that you keep in your pocket at all times? It's a taser, bro.
Amy: [BEEPING] Uuugh.
Jake: I'll take that. Amy, do not make me tase you again.
Amy: No, no, no, no, don't. I'm pregnant.
Jake: What?
Amy: I just found out. It's a girl.
Jake: Oh, my God.
Charles: Oh my God, it's happening. Quick, someone get a reaction video of me becoming an uncle!

 Charles Quotes

Quote from the episode Operation Broken Feather

Sergeant Jeffords: So we have good news, and we have bad news.
Charles: My Nana always said, "Bad news first because the good news is probably a lie." Fun fact: she made me cry a lot.

Quote from the episode The Big House Pt.1

Sergeant Jeffords: Boyle! Were you dreaming about Jake again?
Charles: Why did you wake me up?! I told you never to wake me up!

Quote from the episode Into the Woods

Charles: Is the equipment secure?
Jake: Check.
Charles: Weapon loaded?
Jake: Check.
Charles: Did you have breakfast?
Jake: What? That's not on the checklist.
Charles: I added it because I care about you.
Jake: No, I did not have breakfast.
Charles: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.
Jake: Hey, there's little chocolate chips in this.
Charles: Yeah, I'm not an idiot. I know how to trick my best friend into eating his fiber.

 ‘Cinco De Mayo’ Quotes

Quote from Kevin

Jake: Terry, what you did today was awesome and I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I took things too far.
Sergeant Jeffords: Are you kidding me? I was just guilting you as a tactic. I love how crazy the heist gets.
Jake: Okay, good, 'cause what I really wanted to say is next heist I'm gonna drown you in your own blood.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, yeah? Well, then I'm gonna rip your arms off and beat you to death with 'em.
Jake: Oh.
Kevin: I'm going to slice your Achilles' tendons, peel off your fingernails, and stick knitting needles in your eyes.
Both: Oh, damn.
Kevin: Raymond, you were right. These heists are fun.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Santiago, shall we join forces?
Amy: Ooh, smart, teaming up with the reigning champ.
Captain Holt: Again with this nonsense? I'm the reigning champ. The only thing you won last heist was a lifetime of mediocre heterosexual intercourse with Jake.
Amy: [GASPS] How dare you. No one thinks you won last year.

Quote from Rosa

Charles: Well, it worked. Jake brought in Scully's twin just like I planned when I connected them on Facebook, but he had no idea they hated each other. And when everyone was fighting, they were too distracted to notice old Shlomo. They all underestimated me, Rosa, but today, they will learn the error of their ways, for today, I will prove that nobody gets the best of Charles Boyle.
Rosa: I doused your beard in chloroform.
Charles: Really? I find that very hard to beli- [drops to the floor]

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