The Vulture: Hello, Peralta.
Jake: No, no, no!
The Vulture: I don't know why you're so upset, man. I'm the one who had to come to this backwater stink hole. [to Charles] What's up, little man?
Charles: What's up?
The Vulture: Feeling sexy? Huh?
Charles: Yeah, I feel sexy.
The Vulture: Yeah, you look sexy, man.
Charles: You know I do.
The Vulture: Watch out for that door. [to Sergeant Jeffords] Yo, how much you bench, seriously?

The Vulture: Whasup, ding dongs? I'm your new captain.
Jake: The Vulture.
Amy: Oh, this is bad.
Charles: No.
Rosa: Still hot.
The Vulture: I know we have our history. Me vulturing your cases. Me telling you to eat my farts. But that's all in the past. Because now that I run this precinct, things are going to get much, much worse. So suck it.
Jake: No!

The Vulture: I mean, what was it with Diaz's last "impossible" extortion case? What was it? Six hours?
Rosa: That's because it was 98% solved.
The Vulture: The last 2%'s the hardest to get. That's why they leave it in the milk.
Jake: What?

The Vulture: All right, sluggers.
Let's see what you got for the big b-day bash.
Amy: I thought you wanted us to surprise you.
The Vulture: It's a figure of speech, Detective Stupid-ago.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Charles: You talking oldest bags? Sixty-eight.
Amy: That's not that old.
Charles: No, but I was only twenty.
Jake: Were you even a cop then?
Charles: No, man. It was before I got into the academy.
Rosa: Charles isn't talking about his oldest arrest.
Everybody: Ew!

Gina: Gina's authentic stolen police badges. How can I help?
Jake: Hey, it's Peralta.
Gina: Oh, hey, Jake.
Jake: Hey, do you carry a hair dryer in your purse?
Gina: Of course. I'm not an animal.