Sergeant Jeffords: Sir, what are you so nervous about? There's a new drug in the precinct, and we need updated narcotics field kits. All we're asking for is $1,200. How could she say no to that?
Captain Holt: Sergeant, as long as I'm asking for it, Madeline Wuntch can say no to anything.
[flashback:]
Captain Holt: [sneezes] Ugh, may I?
Madeline Wuntch: Those are my tissues, Raymond. If you were planning on sneezing, you should have brought your own.

Madeline Wuntch: What the hell, Raymond? You were following me?
Captain Holt: I don't know what you're talking about. I've been here the whole time.
Madeline Wuntch: My mistake. These two goons were carrying a dirty old mop that looked exactly like you.

Captain Holt: We're here are about a new and very potent for ecstasy that has surfaced in our precinct; street name, giggle pig.
Madeline Wuntch: Hmm, an embarrassing blight growing right under your nose. Not unlike that moustache you had when we first met.
Captain Holt: That moustache was era-appropriate.

Madeline Wuntch: I like what you've done with your office, Raymond. It's cozy. Like a shoebox one buries a dead hamster in.

Jake: I don't have feelings for Amy any more. So, time for me to get out there and spread my -
Charles: legs.
Jake: - wings. Get out there and spread my legs?!
Charles: Well, either way...
Jake: No, not either way. Only wings.

Sergeant Jeffords: Apparently he's on an important call with the Albanian president.
Amy: Is that Bujar Nishani or is it still Bamir Topi?
Gina: Oh, Ames, let me check. Mmm, it just says no one likes you.

Charles: Are you blackmailing me? I don't have any money, Hitchcock. I'm still paying my uncle's funeral bills. I rear-ended the hearse. It was a mess.