Jake: Welcome to the Jimmy jabs. We play for pride. We play for the phone numbers of Rosa's friends. But most importantly, we play to watch Amy lose.
Amy: Nope. This is my year.
Hitchcock: It's my year too.
Amy: Please don't align yourself with me.
Jake: Why not? Neither of you have ever come close to winning. You're exactly the same, just a couple of Santiagos.

Jake: I don't have feelings for Amy any more. So, time for me to get out there and spread my -
Charles: legs.
Jake: - wings. Get out there and spread my legs?!
Charles: Well, either way...
Jake: No, not either way. Only wings.

Sergeant Jeffords: Apparently he's on an important call with the Albanian president.
Amy: Is that Bujar Nishani or is it still Bamir Topi?
Gina: Oh, Ames, let me check. Mmm, it just says no one likes you.

Charles: Are you blackmailing me? I don't have any money, Hitchcock. I'm still paying my uncle's funeral bills. I rear-ended the hearse. It was a mess.