Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 10564

Quote from Jake in the episode Captain Kim

Captain Julie Kim: You broke into my bedroom?
Jake: Well, this wouldn't have been a problem if didn't have a vicious guard dog that's protecting her secrets.
Captain Julie Kim: Linus is not a guard dog, and he's not vicious. He was locked in my room, because she gets skittish around crowds. I just rescued him from a dog-fighting ring.
All: Aww.
Jake: Don't aww her, all right. She's a liar, and I have proof. Remember how she said she didn't know Madeline Wuntch? Well, then explain why she has an email from her dated two weeks ago, subject: Raymond Holt.
Captain Holt: Mm-hmm.
Captain Julie Kim: Peralta, why don't you read that email aloud for everyone?
Jake: Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you? Wait a minute. Why would you love that? This is gonna be bad for me, isn't it? Amy, you read it.
Amy: No.
Charles: I'll do it, Jakey.
Jake: Oh, the old Charles is back.

 Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Quote from the episode The Party

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

 ‘Captain Kim’ Quotes

Quote from Charles

Jake: I say we use those meetings to figure out why she's really here. She may seem perfect, but I guarantee there's a "but." And I'm gonna find that "but" and drill down on it.
Charles: Come on, man. You have to know how that sounds.
Jake: Shut up, cool Charles. I hate this new dynamic.

Quote from Amy

Jake: Okay, look, Captain Kim lied to us. There's something in this house that proves she's conspiring with Madeline Wuntch, and we're gonna find it.
Amy: I am not letting you snoop around in her stuff and ruin this party.
Jake: Oh, okay. Well, good luck trying to stop us.
Amy: Oh, Jake. You don't know who you're dealing with, do you? I was a student chaperone at every dance from middle school on. I've stopped more horny teenagers from making out to Savage Garden than you can count.
Jake: Cool story, but we're not horny teens. We're horny adults. And tonight we're going all the way. Come on, Holt, let's shake this narc.
Amy: That's right, I am a NARC, a Nationally Accredited and Registered Chaperone.

Quote from Jake

Jake: NYPD, freeze! Taking down the bad guys without breaking up our convo. That how we do it in the Nine-Nine.
Amy: You're going the wrong direction.
Jake: Damn it. All these hallways look the same. That was such a cool walk-off.

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