Sergeant Jeffords: Is there anything in those diaries that can help us find 'em?
Charles: Debbie mentioned her mom a bunch in one of the ones I read. Seems like she tells her everything.
Sergeant Jeffords: Ooh, that's a good lead.
Charles: It is a good lead, isn't it? Did you hear that, speed freaks?
Sergeant Jeffords: Let's find out all we can about the mom.
Charles: I'll start reading right away because slow and steady wins...
Amy: Her mother's name is Margaret Jean Fogle.
Captain Holt: She lives in Bensonhurst.
Amy: She drives a maroon Lexus.
Captain Holt: Vanity plates, "DEREKSMOM."
Amy: She's been married three times.
Captain Holt: To Horace Mills.
Amy: Then Frank Yelter.
Captain Holt: And then James Fogle.
Amy: She goes grocery shopping on Tuesdays.
Captain Holt: Water aerobics on Wednesdays.
Amy: Book club on Fridays.
Captain Holt: She drinks too much wine.
Amy: Always a pinot grigio.
Captain Holt: Always from Napa.
Charles: The race. Slow and steady wins the race.

Sergeant Jeffords: So we have good news, and we have bad news.
Charles: My Nana always said, "Bad news first because the good news is probably a lie." Fun fact: she made me cry a lot.

Sergeant Jeffords: Boyle! Were you dreaming about Jake again?
Charles: Why did you wake me up?! I told you never to wake me up!

Charles: Is the equipment secure?
Jake: Check.
Charles: Weapon loaded?
Jake: Check.
Charles: Did you have breakfast?
Jake: What? That's not on the checklist.
Charles: I added it because I care about you.
Jake: No, I did not have breakfast.
Charles: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.
Jake: Hey, there's little chocolate chips in this.
Charles: Yeah, I'm not an idiot. I know how to trick my best friend into eating his fiber.

Sergeant Jeffords: This is gonna take forever.
Captain Holt: I actually took a speed reading course. I tested at 800 WPM.
Amy: That's pathetic. I tested at 802.
Sergeant Jeffords: That's pretty close to Holt's score.
Captain Holt: No, no, 802's incredible. She pwned me. I read the entire Urban Dictionary So I could converse with the other uniformed officers. Finished it in 47 minutes.

Captain Holt: But we have to let the investigation run its course. Right now, everyone's a suspect.
Rosa: Except for Hitchcock and Scully. Whoever did it took the stairs.

Sergeant Jeffords: So we don't know where Debbie has hidden the drugs. We searched her car, her apartment we even tried the location data on her phone, but she was smart, she had it turned off.
Amy: Or her battery died. According to her Screen Time app, she plays five hours a day of a game called "Cool Girl in School."
Charles: I love "CGIS." I just made captain of the color guard. Junior year's looking up.