Jake: So hey, one more thing. We can never let anyone know that we got beat up by Debbie Fogle.
Rosa: Agreed.
Jake: Take it to the grave?
Rosa: To the grave.
Jake: This conversation never happened.
Rosa: I don't even know who you are.
Jake: That's hurtful. You took it too far.
Rosa: That's a weird thing for a stranger to say. Bye.
Jake: Okay.

Rosa: I want to say a few words. When Jason died seven days ago, I didn't give a rat's ass.
Charles: This is your speech?
Rosa: 'Cause I didn't understand why people care so much about their dumb dogs till I got a dumb dog myself. I've only had Arlo for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.
Gina: Very violent eulogy, I like it.

Rosa: Hey, you should run. Going to meetings, writing stuff down. You love that nerd stuff.
Amy: Writing stuff down is nerdy? What do you do?
Rosa: I just forget stuff like a cool person.

Sergeant Jeffords: Wait, is that a smile I see?
Rosa: Possibly. My immune system is too weak to fight off my smile muscles.

Rosa: Ugh. She'll probably get ten years. It's better than 30. Let's be real, Debbie's life wasn't gonna begin till she was 50 anyway.
Jake: Yeah, the kooky aunt vibe will probably play a lot better then.

Sergeant Jeffords: This is gonna take forever.
Captain Holt: I actually took a speed reading course. I tested at 800 WPM.
Amy: That's pathetic. I tested at 802.
Sergeant Jeffords: That's pretty close to Holt's score.
Captain Holt: No, no, 802's incredible. She pwned me. I read the entire Urban Dictionary So I could converse with the other uniformed officers. Finished it in 47 minutes.

Captain Holt: But we have to let the investigation run its course. Right now, everyone's a suspect.
Rosa: Except for Hitchcock and Scully. Whoever did it took the stairs.