Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 10923

Quote from Jake in the episode Dillman

Jake: Sure, anyways, I know some of the best cops in the city are gonna be on that task force, and I would appreciate it if you'd consider me for it. Here's my résumé. And I thought it would be fun if I rapped it. [off Holt's look] But then I realized that would be a terrible idea, so I just wrote it down normally. It'll probably rhyme a lot on accident. Try not to focus on that.
Captain Holt: "Jake Peralta is age 39, but professionally, he's still in his prime..."
Jake: [chuckles]
Captain Holt: "If you ask me, he's New York's fine... est. Charles enters."
Charles: [rapping] Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat, Chucky B with the burner Raining hot fire!
Jake: Charles, it's not a rap. It never was. Everyone's professional here. Not the lyrics we discussed either.

Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Quote from the episode The Party

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

'Dillman' Quotes

Quote from Rosa

Jake: Fair point, but we do shatter a lot of glass around here. Either it's Rosa who's disappointed in her Buzzfeed results...
[flashback to Rosa on a computer:]
Rosa: I am not a Blanche! [throws the mouse through a window]

Quote from Captain Holt

Jake: The point is a crime has been committed, and someone in this room did it. There are seven suspects all with means and motive. It appears what we have is a classic whodunnit.
Captain Holt: The phrase "whodunnit" is a grammatical abomination. Please use the proper term, a "who has done this."
Jake: I will not.

Quote from Jake

Dillman: So now I'd like to move on to a real suspect. I wanna see detective Diaz in the box.
Charles: [gasps]
Jake: What... don't gasp for him. What are you doing?
Charles: I'm sorry. It just slipped out.
Rosa: Title of your sex tape.
Jake: Yeah, it's... obviously it's the title of his sex tape. Everyone's taking my stuff.

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