Jake: How could the best detective that Holt's ever worked with make such a mistake? I wondered myself, so I made a few phone calls. It turns out, Dillman was fired by the SFPD. I guess he rubbed the brass the wrong way. Not only that, but he's currently working part time at Yarn Barn, a hobby shop in Albany. I have his manager on the phone right now.
Alyssa: [on Jake's phone] Frank, what is going on? You have a shift tonight. You know I have finals.
Dillman: [stammers] I'm so sorry, Alyssa. I got hung up in the city. I just lost track of time.
Jake: This explains everything. He's not a great detective. He's a sad man working part time selling crafting supplies.

Jake: The point is a crime has been committed, and someone in this room did it. There are seven suspects all with means and motive. It appears what we have is a classic whodunnit.
Captain Holt: The phrase "whodunnit" is a grammatical abomination. Please use the proper term, a "who has done this."
Jake: I will not.

Dillman: So now I'd like to move on to a real suspect. I wanna see detective Diaz in the box.
Charles: [gasps]
Jake: What... don't gasp for him. What are you doing?
Charles: I'm sorry. It just slipped out.
Rosa: Title of your sex tape.
Jake: Yeah, it's... obviously it's the title of his sex tape. Everyone's taking my stuff.

Jake: Fair point, but we do shatter a lot of glass around here. Either it's Rosa who's disappointed in her Buzzfeed results...
[flashback to Rosa on a computer:]
Rosa: I am not a Blanche! [throws the mouse through a window]