Dillman: Okay, fine, yes. I was fired by the SFPD. And yes, I contacted Raymond in hopes of getting on that task force. I thought it would be my way back onto the NYPD. Oh, my God. I hate the Yarn Barn.
Alyssa: [on Jake's phone] Really disappointing to hear, Frank.
Dillman: Yeah, well you're a bad manager, Alyssa, okay? You play favorites and it hurts to be on the outside.
Alyssa: You don't even show up to... [Jake ends call]

Jake: The point is a crime has been committed, and someone in this room did it. There are seven suspects all with means and motive. It appears what we have is a classic whodunnit.
Captain Holt: The phrase "whodunnit" is a grammatical abomination. Please use the proper term, a "who has done this."
Jake: I will not.

Dillman: So now I'd like to move on to a real suspect. I wanna see detective Diaz in the box.
Charles: [gasps]
Jake: What... don't gasp for him. What are you doing?
Charles: I'm sorry. It just slipped out.
Rosa: Title of your sex tape.
Jake: Yeah, it's... obviously it's the title of his sex tape. Everyone's taking my stuff.

Jake: Fair point, but we do shatter a lot of glass around here. Either it's Rosa who's disappointed in her Buzzfeed results...
[flashback to Rosa on a computer:]
Rosa: I am not a Blanche! [throws the mouse through a window]