Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 11084

Quote from Jake in the episode Valloweaster

Captain Holt: Okay, in five minutes, ten other bunnies will march past this door. We'll blend in and grab the gems. It's foolproof.
Jake: How is this any different than my bunny suit plan?
Captain Holt: Oh, it's very different. I gave the bunnies glasses and little, blue vests.
Jake: The vests add nothing.
Captain Holt: The vests add gravitas.
Jake: Your butt adds gravitas.

 Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Quote from the episode The Party

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

 ‘Valloweaster’ Quotes

Quote from Jake

Charles: How do you know this is their plan?
Amy: 'Cause Jake frickin' told me.
Charles: He did?
Amy: Yeah. He's so frustrated with Holt... like I knew he would be... that it's all he talks about... [quietly] in therapy.
Charles: What?
[flashback to Jake laying on the couch in a therapist's office as Amy hides in the vent:]
Jake: The thing is, the bunny vests do add gravitas, but I can't tell him that 'cause then he wins. Oh, hey, is it weird that Jane Jetson gives me a bo...
[back:]
Charles: You found a therapist that let you do that?
Amy: No, I've been paying an actress to pretend to treat him for months. She's actually helped him a lot.
Charles: Oh, did Jake ever say anything about me while you were listening?
Amy: ... Where are those bunnies?

Quote from Scully

Charles: Why did you want Cheddar to swallow the gems?
Rosa: Because I needed to delay things. The second part of my plan took place on Valentine's Day, which went perfectly.
Jake: Ah, I wouldn't say perfectly. Scully swallowed the gems.
Rosa: 'Cause I tricked him into it. Wasn't hard. Pretty much used the same Cheddar ham playbook.
[flashback:]
Scully: Table ham. Seven days in a row.
[present:]
Scully: So now I have to think twice before I eat food I find lying around. Thanks a lot.

Quote from Amy

Jake: Anyhow, will there be a new champion crowned this year, or will I become the first ever three-time winner, building on my glorious victories in heists one and five?
Amy: You didn't win the fifth heist. I did when you proposed to me.
Captain Holt: I won that year. You ended up with a modified version of the cummerbund, and you only got that because you slept your way into it.
Amy: Sorry, sir, that no one here wants to bone you, you dusty, old skeleton.
Captain Holt: Whoa!

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