Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 11534

Quote from Jake in the episode Game of Boyles

Jake: Everyone, there's something you need to see in the barn. The game... is afoot.
[later:]
Jake: Pappy Boyle was 93. Who would've suspected that his death stemmed from anything other than the cruel embrace of Father Time? To suggest as much might get someone labeled a crackpot, a kook, someone that's "bored with their suspension." Can you cut the Harriet The Spy windup? It stinks in here.
Jake: What you're smelling, Terry, is duplicity and deceit.
Sam Boyle: I think it's actually Pappy's organs.
Jake: Sam, you're kind of messing with my flow right now. Point is, I was examining the body, and I found something. Classic ulceration and desquamation of the mouth. Telltale signs of poisoning. [gasps] In other words... [Southern accent] What we have ourselves here is a good ol' fashioned murder... [all crying] Of a man who you all loved dearly. I shouldn't have done the Knives Out accent.

 Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Quote from the episode The Party

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

 ‘Game of Boyles’ Quotes

Quote from Captain Holt

Amy: Hey. What's going on?
Rosa: I'm helping Holt pick a dating site.
Captain Holt: Oh, this looks good. PhDs only.
Rosa: Uh, actually in this context, PHD stands for Pretty Huge [bleep].
Captain Holt: Oh, my. I can only assume that MDs only stands for Medium [bleep].

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Huh. It's the exact time we agreed to meet for our date, and he's not here.
Amy: I'm sorry. I know how you value punctuality.
Captain Holt: In my employees. But in potential suitors, I don't mind one or two minutes of tardiness. I like a bad boy. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go to the bathroom to wash my hands, in case we shake.
Amy: Ooh.

Quote from Charles

Charles: Anyway, thanks for coming with me to the funeral. I think we're all packed. I just got to go grab the coffin.
Sergeant Jeffords: Wait, why are you bringing the coffin?
Charles: I brought a coffin to my nana's funeral on a whim, and it was a big hit. So now, guess who's the coffin cousin?

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