Quote from Sergeant Jeffords in the episode Renewal
Amy: Okay, this is how we'll get O'Sullivan's print: fast-drying dental resin.
O'Sullivan touches this, leaves an imprint, and we have a mold, Which we use to make a fake finger that will fool 99% of biometric scanners. Pretty sweet, right?
Sergeant Jeffords: I gotta say, I thought Holt retiring would crush your mood, but it hasn't.
Amy: Wait. Holt's retiring?
Sergeant Jeffords: You knew that. He said he would tell you when you handed in your reform proposal, and you handed it in, and he told you.
Amy: No, he didn't.
Sergeant Jeffords: Okay, well, then I just told you. But you're still taking it well. Amy? Amy! [cell phone chimes] O'Sullivan just texted. He'll be here in three. You gotta hide! Um... I'm just gonna pick you up and carry you like furniture, okay?
Quote from the episode The Tagger
Sergeant Jeffords: You should take my minivan.
Rosa: A minivan? Ha ha.
Sergeant Jeffords: You all got a problem with my minivan? Because my wife doesn't like it either. She wanted an SUV, but those things roll, man. They roll!
Quote from the episode Beach House
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes, I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on.
Quote from the episode The Slump
Charles: Hey, Sarge. I need someone to fill out a line up. Will you be scary Terry?
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, I love being Scary Terry. He says what regular Terry's thinking.
[cut to:
Sergeant Jeffords: This is taking too long! I'm gonna miss the farmer's market!
Quote from Captain Holt
Rosa: What am I doing?
Jake: You, Charles, and Scully will be here, distracting Kevin and making sure he doesn't know Holt's working.
Captain Holt: And who will be on Cheddar duty?
Rosa: I mean, can't we just distract him with a bone?
Captain Holt: Bone? Bone?
Jake: Yeah.
Captain Holt: [yelling] Bone? Cheddar's not some street rat.
Quote from Captain Holt
Captain Holt: I'm gonna check those CompStat numbers right now. I'm just gonna click on this video link entitled "Handyman fixes squeaky door, [bleep] customer."
Jake: Oh, my God.
Quote from Jake
Captain Holt: But I just received an email from my contact at One Police Plaza about our reform proposal.
Jake: Ah, yeah, speaking of that, now that the report is done, can you please tell Amy you're retiring? I don't like lying to her.
Captain Holt: So then you told her about the Top Shot?
Jake: I didn't need to because I traded it for an investment in The Rock's new cryptocurrency, which is currently worth... Oh, no, what happened to RockCoin?